Oh, we noticed! It was great, as was the whole article! My favorite? “Make ‘go sit in the car’ great again! I’d buy that hat and wear it to every restaurant or store I go into! And this piece was killer: “… you learned this through a long string of experience in low stakes matters that saved you from ever winding up at the high stakes “fuck around and find out” table where you might not be able to cover your losses.” As a seasoned poker player, I really appreciated the reference!
I know that one well. Except it was '73 Plymouth Fury.
My parents didn't even take us to sit down restaruants until we were 7 or 8 and we were to be on best manners at all times. I did the same with my kids. Who knew that was what made them good, considerate people, LOL.
Father in Law was at a nice steak house and people plop down behind them with a 5 yr old terrorist and he finally said to them “can you please control your child”. The dad said “why don’t you control yourself” to my KY tobacco farmer Father in law, who then said “well - you can take him to the bathroom and spank him or I will and then I’ll take you outside by your fucking hair and you’ll wake up Tuesday eating through a straw”…. As calm as could be.
Best retort ever… it was a Friday night. The kid settled down pretty quickly.
I think the opposite is a better strategy. We've been taking our daughter to sit down restaurants since she was an infant. She's 2.5 now and such a pro at it that we almost never leave a restaurant without other diners coming to our table to tell us how well behaved she is. It's kind of become a running joke with my husband and I. No tablet either. She brings a toy or two, but only quiet, unobtrusive things like a small stuffed animal or a couple little plastic dinosaurs. She looks at the menu, interacts with us, she's learning how to be a person out in the world. If you want your kids to be able to do something, you've got to just start them doing it.
We were in a large college auditorium listening to a violinist's solo performance when a child began crying which escalated to screaming. The violinist put down his instrument and calmly asked the parents to remove the child. Their entire way to the exit (because the parents had chosen to sit up front), the audience applauded. The concert then resumed.
Wife and I were at a Keith Jarrett concert in small venue when people started taking flash pictures (pre cell phone era). Keith stopped and told everyone to stop taking pictures during the concert then resumed playing. A little while later people started taking pictures again. He stood up closed the piano lid and walked out. Hard lesson. Was it learned?
I agree, but, I think he expected them to behave once warned. We had traveled a long distance for the concert and paid a a bit for the tickets. The picture takers also made a hasty exit because the crowd was quite miffed with them.
Public shaming may not be the best teacher. Had they obtained some pointers from the little Hitler's parents, they likely would have learned something about parenting.
That’s one reason for my wondering about them. I also wondered if they learned to hate the violinist. He told the audience he could not play under such circumstances.
Reminds me of when my family and I were in Tenerife airport recently. A brat started projectile screaming - not just normal prolonged crying but primal outbursts every 5 seconds. The parents seemed to think that this was perfectly acceptable. Of course, being mostly Brits we politely turned the other cheek. Not so an old French guy sitting nearby. He told the kid very loudly to STFU. It sounds much better in French. The kid and his parents understood French because he shut up pretty quickly.
Public shaming can be effective. A controversial policy from years past was a judge that required DUI/DWI offenders to have a bumper sticker declaring the driver was convicted of the offense. Public humiliation.
Thank you for your great Back Seat Guantanamo story!
Yesterday, at a Washington DC neighborhood “small town” Fourth of July Parade, after the marching of the police, the firefighters, the boy scouts, and a few local politicians/city council supporters, a small, brave contingent of DC GOP folks marched by.
A petite urban white woman leaped to her feet screaming, in an episode of full-blown Trump Derangement Syndrome, “Shame! Shame! Shame!!!”.
Immediately, a large white man rushed across the street to straighten her out,
“Please STOP that. That is inappropriate behavior.”
“That is inappropriate behavior.” I miss the entire concept of that beguiling societal construct.
For our part, our son spent time in the car jail. But because we live in ultra progressive WA state, one of us always leaned against the outside of the car while he collected himself. It only had to happen a few times. He grew up into the man we hoped he’d be.
Thought about this at a restaurant today as we observed several completely unparented kids walk all over their millennial parents.
My own parents (Boomers) used shame and scorn on us (Gen X), whether we’d done something or not. They regularly told us how much they resented having to feed and cloth us. Expensive, inconvenient little pigs. Hitting was on the table but their tongues were worse.
Our son was given love and reasonable boundaries. Trauma cycle ended.
I hope more of that happens from men. Women doing it is not respected. Liberal women have made it easier for all women to be disrespected and men mocked and disrespected. I am so over WOKE bs. I speak from experience. I step in and get shut down by louder mouthed harpies.
"when i was a kid, parents smacked you. not with intent to injure, but with intent to jar you out of whatever stupid crap you were doing and get you back to sense." Boy, is that ever true. And, you're right, your psyche says, "Hmmmmm, I just need to act different to keep that from happening again. I get it." Problem solved. I remember after a good 'talking to', I started down the 'stupid' trail again, and my Father said, "You don't really want to do that, do you?" Ah! An affirmation to my psyche understanding. "No, I don't." We got along great from that day until he passed away. God bless good parents.
Exactly as you say, after one good talking to, all it takes is a clear reminder "You've screwed up like this before; remember what happened then." and they lesson is recalled and reapplied.
I got swatted and/or spanked occasionally as a child (I certainly deserved it). I always wondered why Mom was the one to handle corporal punishment. One day I decided to FAFO. The next thing I knew I was on my butt, across the room, and seeing stars. My mental process? "Thanks for clarifying that for me, Dad!" It only happened once. I, too, am grateful for good parents and the fact that I eventually got the message.
There is a comedian who says,"Falling off the monkey bars is God's way to telling you 'Don't act stupid'." Same with parenting. I love my boys, but at 12 and 13, I looked at them and said, "I'm not sure you are going to make it to 14." They are leaders in their chosen fields today, and I am proud of them, because knowing actions have consequences, good and bad, is a great lesson in life that one or two generations have never figured out.
I used the "1… 2… 3…" method and always followed through. 9/10 times I only got to 2.
His Dad would go "two and a half, two and three quarters" and never understand why it didn't work. I could take over with a new round of 1…2… after two and three quarters and have immediate results.
When we were children (4 of us), my mother was complimented by the staff of our favourite restaurant on how well behaved we were. We all knew that if one of us acted out, not only would the guilty child be removed from the restaurant, but all four of us. The displeasure of my mother was as nothing compared to the censure of three other siblings, sometimes for days afterwards.
Appropriate behaviour in any setting, comes from the development and disciplining of the feeling function and I am eternally grateful for the education I received at my mother's hands.
I used to kid around with my mom in her old age. She was known to carry a plastic spoon in a gun holster. Didn’t matter who was acting up in the backseat, we all 3 “got it.” Neighborhood children who were unfortunate enough to ride along, also felt the sting.
My dad handled things a little differently. He always said, “those who can’t learn with words, must feel.”
Have you ever been around parents who tell their disruptive child that they will take them to the car if they don't behave and yet, the child is never taken to the car? I have thought of offering to do it for them if they are unable to do it themselves.
I used the 'count to three' threat on my now 54 year old daughter when she was a young child. It was very effective. I never got past 'two' before her behavior modified. To be honest, I am not sure what I would have done if I did get to 'three'. I wonder what she imagined was going to happen? Perhaps I will ask her.
@Mrs.- My mother, too. Other than the "I'll ring your neck" or "I'll knock your heads together" (which I have actually done), I didn't give idle threats. They knew when I got to 3 they were done for.
"Knock your heads together"- I remember this one from those long car trips that would devolve into "She touched me" "But she looked at me" kind of arguments.
When my parents raised their voice like that, you didn't want to wait for the countdown.
And yeah, I found it slipping out when I had kids of my own. That's when it really sunk in that I had become my mom despite years of rebellion, LOL.
@Baker- Oh....I devolved into my mother many, many years ago. We all laugh (my youngest is 38 and we're great-grandparents). My mother laughs in heaven.
@Mary Ann- my husband's parents would say that to their kids. My parents never did. They knew we were crying for a reason and took the time to try to understand. That was a lesson all of us kids learned with our kids (and no, it's not like I never lost my temper with my kids. oy, the stories...).
or, I'm gonna knock your heads together and then somehow, while driving, he would manage to one hand off the wheel and proceed to knock our heads together. HAHA
or, I'm gonna knock your heads together and then somehow, while driving, he would manage to take one hand off the wheel and proceed to knock our heads together. HAHA
I think it started when little league started. Before that kids went out and played with a bat and a ball and chose up sides. No parents no uniforms on organized rules. Little league ruined childhood
I dunno. When I was playing LL in the 1960’s they kept score and it was normal. If you were a good player you played more, simple as that. If you were marginal but ran your ass off trying, you played more. If you were marginal and a slacker you didn’t play much. If you were a complainer/crybaby you would sit out the game. Nobody’s dad came to bail out their crybaby. Nobody criticized the volunteer ump donating his Saturday off of work. It was incentivizing and you learned that every one is NOT equal and you learned to deal with your limitations.
This reminds me of my mom. She told a student to sit down, and he told her to go piss up a rope. She slapped him on the back of the head and sent him to the office. The next day, he brought his mother in for a conference, and she was pissed that my mom touched him. He lied and said he didn't do anything, when my mom said he told her to piss up a rope she smacked him twice more. One for lying and one for disrespect. She never had a problem with him or anyone else.
My hubby was a high school teacher when you could push a teen up against the lockers while grabbing his shirt. He left teaching and returned to teaching in 2001. What a change in 23 years. He got out in 4 years. Happiest day of his life. Parents, kids and admin made teaching miserable.
I have a large family, 11 children. When oyr family was smaller with only 4 or 5 and we went out to eat, strangers would walk up all the time and say something along the lines of "you have the best behaved kids, what's your secret?" I would always look them right in the eye and say, "We beat them." I didn't actually beat my kids, just discipline them, but I loved to watch the reaction I'd get. Everything from abject horror and recoil to "you have to, good for you." Now I take my grandkids to the grocery store or out to eat and I get told how well behaved my grandchildren are. I had to change my line to, "I beat their parents." The grandkids roll their eyes and groan, but I've found that embarrassing your grandkids is just as fun as embarrassing your kids. 🤣
Whatever the world and society are doing, do the opposite. Now, the police (or some snoopy busybody) could make a case for leaving the child alone in the car. The centralized government-knows-best-nanny-machine could come swooping in and take the child away for parental neglect and torture. Just saying.
I so agree with this essay, and love the cat with the hat meme! The parent could also stay in the car, utterly ignore the child until calm occurs, and then take them back, thus avoiding government overreach. Inconvenient, not ideal, but perhaps practical given the current societal environment. I remember a supermarket meltdown where I left a full cart and took my child home for a much needed nap. Again, not ideal, but better than bribery and appeasement.
yeah that doesn't work because kid is getting attention, any attention. parents do not know how to not address the kid anymore - by that I mean IGNORE them. and good for you taking your kiddo home. ours got the short lecture about where we were going and what we expected out of them and never once had a problem. am pretty sure it starts at home where effective discipline and consequence has not been used. imo
Recall those obnoxious 'Baby Onboard' stickers? Someone (You! Make a buck!) should offer 'Whiny Little Annoyer Onboard'--as a shaming device. Even a toddler, when pointed at by laughing bystanders, will get the message toute suite.
I love those. I always think “Wow I was just going to crash my car into yours leading to a fiery implosion in which we ALL burn to death but I’ll hold off because of that baby!!”
This is the biggest issue what is not touched in this post. The government took away the rights of the adults. You can't act seriously when the government knows everything better than you...
As a no-fault divorce-raped father that lost contact with son after court allowed mother to abuse visitation and phone contact, I am a strong believer in public hangings of judges and mothers and anyone else that active supports separating fathers-children and parent-children.
Hanged over the corpses of all the adults in their bloodline would not be Justice enough for taking my child. It best to not engage with police but go directly to the problem - judges and law-makers and leave them in pieces.
You think you can just take children away? - die screaming in flames then and world much better off.
Burning down every federal and state building yesterday would be 30-40 years late.
Spare the rod and spoil the child was a common phrase I heard when I was a child. I grew up in a time when if a teacher gave you a little rap on the head you knew better than to complain to your mom when you got home as you’d likely get another smack, this one even harder followed by the question of what did you do to deserve it?
Excellent piece. Thank you. And what did all of the “we shall not punish but shall have a discussion” give us?
Spoiled little brats masquerading as adults who lay down in the road to block traffic, throw paint and food at priceless paintings, or burn down cities and loot stores. And what do too many of our (almost always left wing) leaders do? Nothing.
Perhaps it’s time to put them in the car. On a sweltering hot day.
Back in the day we use to smack adults that needed it too as still culturally celebrated as a feel good moment in 1988 at the end of Die Hard where Holly punches Thornburg in the nose.
It was always our premise that a child learns self-control by first experiencing external control (I am not talking about anything that borders on abuse). I’m 71 and my 4th grade teacher in 1963 did not suffer fools lightly. If a child misbehaved, he or she was marched to the front of the room where Mrs. Wisecarver used a ruler to whack some knuckles. That would seem horrid to most of today’s parents. And the result is exactly what we see all around us: utter lack of self-control.
Did you by any chance attend milwee middle school in Longwood Florida? the PE coach was the one who would use it , if you got sent to his office. I was on a first name basis with Coach Buchanan and the Board of Education as well. And if my father found out, then there was another whipping waiting when I got home. But I'm pleased to say even a hard-headed slow learner like myself figured it out. there are consequences to your actions and it's amazing when those consequences hurt,how they make you think, before you do dumb stuff. this is how we learn. And I must admit the lessons have served me well.
If I ever got to the point that I was getting taken to the car there would have been a spanking awaiting me. The effectiveness of the paddle is unparalleled. Its power is such that the threat of it was usually more than enough to get us back in line. I love my parents for the fact that they cared enough for me to teach me how to function in a society by first teaching me how to function in a family. I’m passing this along to my children.
Once "we" opened up star-ratings-for-service to anyone and everyone in 2000, or so, this Hell awaited. Every shopkeeper and small businessman operated in terror of the 1-Star Rating from the entitled Mama Bear who takes out her wrath with a bogus (read: fictional framing) report about how her Cute Cub was mistreated for "only" wanting to stand on the prep counter to see how the fry cook made their meal because he has an interest in Being a Chef Someday and Now He's Seeing Dreams Die Because He was Yelled At. 1-Star!!!
And it is easily abused. One restaurant I helped to open, had in it's early days, a patron that would order expensive seafood, then complain to the owner (and on nascent social media) that it was bad and made him sick so he would get a refund/get a free meal. After the second time, the old-school restaurant owner 86'd him from the place.
An excellent article! And I looooove your photo caption, lol: “1977 chevy guantanamo”
lol. i was hoping people would notice that.
Oh, we noticed! It was great, as was the whole article! My favorite? “Make ‘go sit in the car’ great again! I’d buy that hat and wear it to every restaurant or store I go into! And this piece was killer: “… you learned this through a long string of experience in low stakes matters that saved you from ever winding up at the high stakes “fuck around and find out” table where you might not be able to cover your losses.” As a seasoned poker player, I really appreciated the reference!
I should note that the Tesla cars have a "Dog Mode" to keep them alive.
https://www.notateslaapp.com/tesla-reference/603/tesla-dog-mode-everything-you-want-to-know
https://cdn.memes.com/up/69856891599514969/i/1639016233759.jpg
I know that one well. Except it was '73 Plymouth Fury.
My parents didn't even take us to sit down restaruants until we were 7 or 8 and we were to be on best manners at all times. I did the same with my kids. Who knew that was what made them good, considerate people, LOL.
Father in Law was at a nice steak house and people plop down behind them with a 5 yr old terrorist and he finally said to them “can you please control your child”. The dad said “why don’t you control yourself” to my KY tobacco farmer Father in law, who then said “well - you can take him to the bathroom and spank him or I will and then I’ll take you outside by your fucking hair and you’ll wake up Tuesday eating through a straw”…. As calm as could be.
Best retort ever… it was a Friday night. The kid settled down pretty quickly.
I think the opposite is a better strategy. We've been taking our daughter to sit down restaurants since she was an infant. She's 2.5 now and such a pro at it that we almost never leave a restaurant without other diners coming to our table to tell us how well behaved she is. It's kind of become a running joke with my husband and I. No tablet either. She brings a toy or two, but only quiet, unobtrusive things like a small stuffed animal or a couple little plastic dinosaurs. She looks at the menu, interacts with us, she's learning how to be a person out in the world. If you want your kids to be able to do something, you've got to just start them doing it.
Ah, ye-ah, lol. Keep the excellent writing and uber creative captions coming!
Thought that was excellent as well!!! El Gato has a great sense of humor!!!
^^^This!^^^
We were in a large college auditorium listening to a violinist's solo performance when a child began crying which escalated to screaming. The violinist put down his instrument and calmly asked the parents to remove the child. Their entire way to the exit (because the parents had chosen to sit up front), the audience applauded. The concert then resumed.
Wife and I were at a Keith Jarrett concert in small venue when people started taking flash pictures (pre cell phone era). Keith stopped and told everyone to stop taking pictures during the concert then resumed playing. A little while later people started taking pictures again. He stood up closed the piano lid and walked out. Hard lesson. Was it learned?
That would suck so hard. I've always wanted to hear Jarrett live and have never even thought of taking pics at a concert.
I agree, but, I think he expected them to behave once warned. We had traveled a long distance for the concert and paid a a bit for the tickets. The picture takers also made a hasty exit because the crowd was quite miffed with them.
Calmly asked the parents to remove the child?! Who's this guy, Hitler?
Our violinist was only 20 years old. I've often wondered if the parents learned something that night about parenting.
Public shaming may not be the best teacher. Had they obtained some pointers from the little Hitler's parents, they likely would have learned something about parenting.
That’s one reason for my wondering about them. I also wondered if they learned to hate the violinist. He told the audience he could not play under such circumstances.
Who cares? Everyone hated having to listen to their little brat.
Reminds me of when my family and I were in Tenerife airport recently. A brat started projectile screaming - not just normal prolonged crying but primal outbursts every 5 seconds. The parents seemed to think that this was perfectly acceptable. Of course, being mostly Brits we politely turned the other cheek. Not so an old French guy sitting nearby. He told the kid very loudly to STFU. It sounds much better in French. The kid and his parents understood French because he shut up pretty quickly.
Public shaming can be effective. A controversial policy from years past was a judge that required DUI/DWI offenders to have a bumper sticker declaring the driver was convicted of the offense. Public humiliation.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
So there IS a God after all, and people CAN remember how to be blunt with awful parents.
I knew it.
Thank you for your great Back Seat Guantanamo story!
Yesterday, at a Washington DC neighborhood “small town” Fourth of July Parade, after the marching of the police, the firefighters, the boy scouts, and a few local politicians/city council supporters, a small, brave contingent of DC GOP folks marched by.
A petite urban white woman leaped to her feet screaming, in an episode of full-blown Trump Derangement Syndrome, “Shame! Shame! Shame!!!”.
Immediately, a large white man rushed across the street to straighten her out,
“Please STOP that. That is inappropriate behavior.”
She stopped. Thank God.
“That is inappropriate behavior.” I miss the entire concept of that beguiling societal construct.
For our part, our son spent time in the car jail. But because we live in ultra progressive WA state, one of us always leaned against the outside of the car while he collected himself. It only had to happen a few times. He grew up into the man we hoped he’d be.
Thought about this at a restaurant today as we observed several completely unparented kids walk all over their millennial parents.
My own parents (Boomers) used shame and scorn on us (Gen X), whether we’d done something or not. They regularly told us how much they resented having to feed and cloth us. Expensive, inconvenient little pigs. Hitting was on the table but their tongues were worse.
Our son was given love and reasonable boundaries. Trauma cycle ended.
Made me think of Princess Bride... "Shame, shame, boo, hiss..."
I hope more of that happens from men. Women doing it is not respected. Liberal women have made it easier for all women to be disrespected and men mocked and disrespected. I am so over WOKE bs. I speak from experience. I step in and get shut down by louder mouthed harpies.
"when i was a kid, parents smacked you. not with intent to injure, but with intent to jar you out of whatever stupid crap you were doing and get you back to sense." Boy, is that ever true. And, you're right, your psyche says, "Hmmmmm, I just need to act different to keep that from happening again. I get it." Problem solved. I remember after a good 'talking to', I started down the 'stupid' trail again, and my Father said, "You don't really want to do that, do you?" Ah! An affirmation to my psyche understanding. "No, I don't." We got along great from that day until he passed away. God bless good parents.
That's exactly the tact I use with my kids.
Kid: *some bullshit*
Me: "You want to try that again?"
Kid: "Sorry... *more reasonable version*"
Exactly as you say, after one good talking to, all it takes is a clear reminder "You've screwed up like this before; remember what happened then." and they lesson is recalled and reapplied.
Kid's mind: "I remember. Nope don't want that anymore. Self correct mode engaged."
Exactly. Cross domain learning is hard, so it is always good to help them understand that "This situation is just like that other one, be told."
I got swatted and/or spanked occasionally as a child (I certainly deserved it). I always wondered why Mom was the one to handle corporal punishment. One day I decided to FAFO. The next thing I knew I was on my butt, across the room, and seeing stars. My mental process? "Thanks for clarifying that for me, Dad!" It only happened once. I, too, am grateful for good parents and the fact that I eventually got the message.
There is a comedian who says,"Falling off the monkey bars is God's way to telling you 'Don't act stupid'." Same with parenting. I love my boys, but at 12 and 13, I looked at them and said, "I'm not sure you are going to make it to 14." They are leaders in their chosen fields today, and I am proud of them, because knowing actions have consequences, good and bad, is a great lesson in life that one or two generations have never figured out.
I used the "1… 2… 3…" method and always followed through. 9/10 times I only got to 2.
His Dad would go "two and a half, two and three quarters" and never understand why it didn't work. I could take over with a new round of 1…2… after two and three quarters and have immediate results.
When we were children (4 of us), my mother was complimented by the staff of our favourite restaurant on how well behaved we were. We all knew that if one of us acted out, not only would the guilty child be removed from the restaurant, but all four of us. The displeasure of my mother was as nothing compared to the censure of three other siblings, sometimes for days afterwards.
Appropriate behaviour in any setting, comes from the development and disciplining of the feeling function and I am eternally grateful for the education I received at my mother's hands.
so THAT'S why folks have more than one child! wish I'da learned that sooner ;-)
I used to kid around with my mom in her old age. She was known to carry a plastic spoon in a gun holster. Didn’t matter who was acting up in the backseat, we all 3 “got it.” Neighborhood children who were unfortunate enough to ride along, also felt the sting.
My dad handled things a little differently. He always said, “those who can’t learn with words, must feel.”
I was a little angel in restaurants. My Mom said some monks actually came up to tell her what a little doll I was.
I'm sure it was a hard learned lesson to be that way.
I will say it again: this all started to get out of hand when they quit keeping score in little league.
My dad would tell me, “ you better quit crying before I give you something to cry about”.
Have you ever been around parents who tell their disruptive child that they will take them to the car if they don't behave and yet, the child is never taken to the car? I have thought of offering to do it for them if they are unable to do it themselves.
My mother taught me this simple rule when my now 43 year old was two ,,” don’t make idle threats.” Thanks Mom!
Your mom was SO right. Kids know what is implicit in an idle threat: keep on doing what they're doing.
“ I’m going to count to three”… then count to three!
I used the 'count to three' threat on my now 54 year old daughter when she was a young child. It was very effective. I never got past 'two' before her behavior modified. To be honest, I am not sure what I would have done if I did get to 'three'. I wonder what she imagined was going to happen? Perhaps I will ask her.
@Mrs.- My mother, too. Other than the "I'll ring your neck" or "I'll knock your heads together" (which I have actually done), I didn't give idle threats. They knew when I got to 3 they were done for.
"Knock your heads together"- I remember this one from those long car trips that would devolve into "She touched me" "But she looked at me" kind of arguments.
When my parents raised their voice like that, you didn't want to wait for the countdown.
And yeah, I found it slipping out when I had kids of my own. That's when it really sunk in that I had become my mom despite years of rebellion, LOL.
@Baker- Oh....I devolved into my mother many, many years ago. We all laugh (my youngest is 38 and we're great-grandparents). My mother laughs in heaven.
How about "If you're going to cry, I'll give you something to cry about." LOL
@Mary Ann- my husband's parents would say that to their kids. My parents never did. They knew we were crying for a reason and took the time to try to understand. That was a lesson all of us kids learned with our kids (and no, it's not like I never lost my temper with my kids. oy, the stories...).
My parents used to take us to other people's cars. :)
@Steg- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Ingenious threat! I'd have loved your parents.
Or, during a roadtrip, that fear-inducing "Don't. Make. Me. Come. Back. There...!"
“If I have to pull this car over you’re not gonna like it”
or, I'm gonna knock your heads together and then somehow, while driving, he would manage to one hand off the wheel and proceed to knock our heads together. HAHA
"If you do that again we are turning around and going straight home!" (Heaven help you when the front door shuts)
Yes. I mentioned I was “bored” once. After two hours of pulling dandelions I was FOREVER cured of boredom.
I always tell my kids that saying you’re bored means you need some extra chores. It’s an amazing cure for boredom.
My dad used to say only stupid people get bored
Not necessarily true, but makes you think twice about saying it
I told my kids that if they ever said they were bored that we had plenty of chores to do. They never told me they were bored again.
They all said that, didn't they?
or, I'm gonna knock your heads together and then somehow, while driving, he would manage to take one hand off the wheel and proceed to knock our heads together. HAHA
I think it started when little league started. Before that kids went out and played with a bat and a ball and chose up sides. No parents no uniforms on organized rules. Little league ruined childhood
I dunno. When I was playing LL in the 1960’s they kept score and it was normal. If you were a good player you played more, simple as that. If you were marginal but ran your ass off trying, you played more. If you were marginal and a slacker you didn’t play much. If you were a complainer/crybaby you would sit out the game. Nobody’s dad came to bail out their crybaby. Nobody criticized the volunteer ump donating his Saturday off of work. It was incentivizing and you learned that every one is NOT equal and you learned to deal with your limitations.
This reminds me of my mom. She told a student to sit down, and he told her to go piss up a rope. She slapped him on the back of the head and sent him to the office. The next day, he brought his mother in for a conference, and she was pissed that my mom touched him. He lied and said he didn't do anything, when my mom said he told her to piss up a rope she smacked him twice more. One for lying and one for disrespect. She never had a problem with him or anyone else.
My hubby was a high school teacher when you could push a teen up against the lockers while grabbing his shirt. He left teaching and returned to teaching in 2001. What a change in 23 years. He got out in 4 years. Happiest day of his life. Parents, kids and admin made teaching miserable.
These kids wouldn't last a day with the teachers of the '60s and '70s.
She should have popped the mom
considering the mom actually disciplined the little brat once she knew he lied, I'd have to disagree.
if she'd ignored the issue or argued in his favor after that, sure, some sort of whooping would be better justified.
Nah, the mom was on her side.
I have a large family, 11 children. When oyr family was smaller with only 4 or 5 and we went out to eat, strangers would walk up all the time and say something along the lines of "you have the best behaved kids, what's your secret?" I would always look them right in the eye and say, "We beat them." I didn't actually beat my kids, just discipline them, but I loved to watch the reaction I'd get. Everything from abject horror and recoil to "you have to, good for you." Now I take my grandkids to the grocery store or out to eat and I get told how well behaved my grandchildren are. I had to change my line to, "I beat their parents." The grandkids roll their eyes and groan, but I've found that embarrassing your grandkids is just as fun as embarrassing your kids. 🤣
Whatever the world and society are doing, do the opposite. Now, the police (or some snoopy busybody) could make a case for leaving the child alone in the car. The centralized government-knows-best-nanny-machine could come swooping in and take the child away for parental neglect and torture. Just saying.
I so agree with this essay, and love the cat with the hat meme! The parent could also stay in the car, utterly ignore the child until calm occurs, and then take them back, thus avoiding government overreach. Inconvenient, not ideal, but perhaps practical given the current societal environment. I remember a supermarket meltdown where I left a full cart and took my child home for a much needed nap. Again, not ideal, but better than bribery and appeasement.
yeah that doesn't work because kid is getting attention, any attention. parents do not know how to not address the kid anymore - by that I mean IGNORE them. and good for you taking your kiddo home. ours got the short lecture about where we were going and what we expected out of them and never once had a problem. am pretty sure it starts at home where effective discipline and consequence has not been used. imo
Recall those obnoxious 'Baby Onboard' stickers? Someone (You! Make a buck!) should offer 'Whiny Little Annoyer Onboard'--as a shaming device. Even a toddler, when pointed at by laughing bystanders, will get the message toute suite.
I love those. I always think “Wow I was just going to crash my car into yours leading to a fiery implosion in which we ALL burn to death but I’ll hold off because of that baby!!”
Lol!
I usually get overtaken by cars with those stickers on. They want YOU to care about their offspring, but they don't care about your safety.
I also enjoyed “ my kid will will beat up your honor roll student “ sticker!
The comedian Gallagher had a baby (doll) nailed on a board to go along with that that sticker.
Even worse are the one with all the family names on them. I now see counter-stickers saying "I don't give a F whose in your family".
We haven't had those (yet) here in the 305.
305?
Miami.
Sshhh...don't tell anyone.
Ha! I only know Country 404 (the UK)!
😂
"centralized government-knows-best-nanny-machine" is perfect and in the spirit of the times, I will be taking it for reparations.
This is the biggest issue what is not touched in this post. The government took away the rights of the adults. You can't act seriously when the government knows everything better than you...
As a no-fault divorce-raped father that lost contact with son after court allowed mother to abuse visitation and phone contact, I am a strong believer in public hangings of judges and mothers and anyone else that active supports separating fathers-children and parent-children.
Hanged over the corpses of all the adults in their bloodline would not be Justice enough for taking my child. It best to not engage with police but go directly to the problem - judges and law-makers and leave them in pieces.
You think you can just take children away? - die screaming in flames then and world much better off.
Burning down every federal and state building yesterday would be 30-40 years late.
Spare the rod and spoil the child was a common phrase I heard when I was a child. I grew up in a time when if a teacher gave you a little rap on the head you knew better than to complain to your mom when you got home as you’d likely get another smack, this one even harder followed by the question of what did you do to deserve it?
😆1977 Chevy Guantanamo
Yes yes yes, hear hear times 1000. Bring back common sense and parental responsibility as well as radical personal responsibility.
Excellent piece. Thank you. And what did all of the “we shall not punish but shall have a discussion” give us?
Spoiled little brats masquerading as adults who lay down in the road to block traffic, throw paint and food at priceless paintings, or burn down cities and loot stores. And what do too many of our (almost always left wing) leaders do? Nothing.
Perhaps it’s time to put them in the car. On a sweltering hot day.
Back in the day we use to smack adults that needed it too as still culturally celebrated as a feel good moment in 1988 at the end of Die Hard where Holly punches Thornburg in the nose.
Exactly!
It was always our premise that a child learns self-control by first experiencing external control (I am not talking about anything that borders on abuse). I’m 71 and my 4th grade teacher in 1963 did not suffer fools lightly. If a child misbehaved, he or she was marched to the front of the room where Mrs. Wisecarver used a ruler to whack some knuckles. That would seem horrid to most of today’s parents. And the result is exactly what we see all around us: utter lack of self-control.
I got whacked by the principal who happened to be my 3rd grade teacher. I had much more self control after that!
Everyone knew a trip to the principal's office meant the paddle.
Exactly! The 'paddle' at my school had holes drilled in it to make the smack stronger and it was called "The Board of Education".
Yep. The "board of education to the seat of learning."
Did you by any chance attend milwee middle school in Longwood Florida? the PE coach was the one who would use it , if you got sent to his office. I was on a first name basis with Coach Buchanan and the Board of Education as well. And if my father found out, then there was another whipping waiting when I got home. But I'm pleased to say even a hard-headed slow learner like myself figured it out. there are consequences to your actions and it's amazing when those consequences hurt,how they make you think, before you do dumb stuff. this is how we learn. And I must admit the lessons have served me well.
If I ever got to the point that I was getting taken to the car there would have been a spanking awaiting me. The effectiveness of the paddle is unparalleled. Its power is such that the threat of it was usually more than enough to get us back in line. I love my parents for the fact that they cared enough for me to teach me how to function in a society by first teaching me how to function in a family. I’m passing this along to my children.
Once "we" opened up star-ratings-for-service to anyone and everyone in 2000, or so, this Hell awaited. Every shopkeeper and small businessman operated in terror of the 1-Star Rating from the entitled Mama Bear who takes out her wrath with a bogus (read: fictional framing) report about how her Cute Cub was mistreated for "only" wanting to stand on the prep counter to see how the fry cook made their meal because he has an interest in Being a Chef Someday and Now He's Seeing Dreams Die Because He was Yelled At. 1-Star!!!
This whole Star rating nonsense should be outlawed for everything. It’s mainly an outlet for complainers to make trouble
And it is easily abused. One restaurant I helped to open, had in it's early days, a patron that would order expensive seafood, then complain to the owner (and on nascent social media) that it was bad and made him sick so he would get a refund/get a free meal. After the second time, the old-school restaurant owner 86'd him from the place.
FAFO.