right on target

life in the second world supermax

“second world” object lesson number 2,471:

you put in self check out in response to high wage costs, but then you find new problems.

high trust systems cannot survive in the presence of low trust people.

and this is why, in the second world, you cannot have nice things…

and ultimately, the incentives and selectors turn the systems into pastiches of their intent.

let me give you a preview of how such systems work on puerto rico. (it may help you to brace for what’s coming)

they put self-checkout into the major grocery chain (supermax) perhaps 18 months ago in response to an acute labor shortage.

it has not really helped.

the whole system is basically set up to be low trust and thus becomes low function to the point of inevitable malfunction.

labor is not saved. neither, really is time, but they open fewer other lanes so on a relative basis this is still a better option to manned checkout, but neither is as good as what the store used to have.

you’re on camera the whole time. 1-2 employees are always watching the 4 checkout stations.

you bring your groceries (limited to 15 items or fewer) and press start.

there are two small platforms on each terminal with a scanner in the middle. this is from this morning. note the incredibly low platforms for groceries placed about 20 inches off the floor where no person over 9 years old finds them convenient. i’m sure this is some disability regulation for rascals on rascals or some such, but for most people, it’s just plain annoying.

but this is only the beginning.

you start with items on the left side.

each item you scan must be placed on the platform on the right.

the system knows (allegedly, not always) how much it is supposed to weigh and is very tightly calibrated to this. tolerances are wafter thin.

so, you have to scan one thing at a time and place it on the right side scale just so or the whole system locks up and you need the attendant to come reset it for you. if you drop it on the right or put it down too hard, this will also happen. the whole thing is hair trigger. very light items are often just “automatic fouls” and are best not to buy in self-checkout. sometimes, it just has bad programming on weight and the buzzer is going off no matter what you do.

fall prey to any of these pratfalls, and you have to wait for the attendant who is not paying attention and, if they are, are likely helping someone else who has had this same problem. you also need them if you buy any alcohol.

you’re going to be here a while.

this is to stop stealing. but mostly, what it stops is “checkout.”

low trust = low function, a modern system generating inconveniences that no older order could conceive.

it gets better.

you cannot bag your items at this time, even if you have your own bag. that’s a first world idea. and this ain’t that.

once you have managed to scan and place all your items on the right side without setting off the joy buzzer novelty scale, you have to then enter a quantity of bags and have their price added to the bill. then you pay for the whole combo. they have, astonishingly, turned this into about a 4 button nested menu of selections just to use a credit card. it literally asks you if you want to pay the whole balance on one card or split it between multiple ones. apparently, that’s thing.

you then need to actually enter a signature on the terminal no matter how small your purchase. someone with a highly skilled commerce prevention team clearly gave this payment system quite a lot of attention. they probably got a promotion for it.

then you have to flag down the attendant who will get the bags for you. this can often take some time as they are frequently helping someone else who cannot figure out how to scan things or who has accidentally locked up the scale by dropping an item or are otherwise woolgathering and simply not paying attention.

you look at them and say “dos bolsas por favor.”

and they look at you in genuine bafflement as if you have asked them some sort of cunning zen koan.

in sanskrit.

they certainly do not have any bags with them in hand. they have to go get some from 20 feet away and come back as obviously, there was no way to foretell the eventuality of “a customer wanting bags.” they seem to begrudge you this, but eventually after some negotiation, you can get some bags.

at least you didn’t steal any!

low trust has a high efficiency price.

all systems designed to accommodate it kind of stink.

so, you have your bolsas.

then, and only then, can you actually put your groceries into the bags, but, of course, there is really no good surface on which to do this and certainly nothing like the helpful wire frame bag dispensers/holders into which you’d be able to place groceries immediately post scanning back in a well designed, high trust store.

it’s an astonishingly annoying and inefficient process to the point of ostentatious non-optimization.

it feels like you’re on some sort of bad game show.

adding insult to injury, the whole time, the machine speaks to you outline each individual step you must undertake in painstaking and annoying detail.

please scan first item. place the item onto the scale. please scan next item. place the item onto the scale. select payment.

you’ll be temped to hurry to avoid the annoying voice, but this risks the “you put it down too hard and locked the system” penalty. (told you, bad game show.)

it’s truly amazing how much good system design you take for granted in the first world. you don’t really notice it until it’s gone. it just seems normal. it’s not. it’s special, you’re just spoiled. a child could optimize this system 27 different ways and triple or quadruple throughput if there were just high trust (or even a bit of consideration). in the first world, they would have. but here in el mundo número dos there is neither trust not consideration. so you can’t.

it’s jarring.

in the third world, some vendor who moves like they spent 11 years at checkout ninja school would whisk you through it by sheer skill and desire to get paid. they would smile and wish you a good day while they did it and mean it when they say “please come again.”

but not in the second world. labor is torpid. there is no sense of concern or even interest. there seems to be not even so much a lack of concern about doing a good job as a lack of the idea of having concern about doing a good job. it’s a data call with no referent. file not found.

this only happens when you have profound, first world safety nets and tungsten plated job security yet feel no obligation to repay employers for such.

it’s profoundly dysfunctional in a very particular sort of way reminiscent of old soviet jokes about “we pretend to work and they pretend to pay us.”

this is not to say life is intolerable or even bad. there’s a certain joie de vivre among the high functioning denizens of the second world and an odd, humorous camaraderie in it. dysfunction because an old friend, a movie you’ve seen a dozen times and know all the lines to. we all say them together like quoting caddyshack. anyone who starts a sentence with “you would think…” has to pay for dinner.

there’s also a odd resilience to it, and optimization to non-optimization. the power went out last night and was still out this morning. my building had power because we have a full building generator with auto-kick in. so do most buildings around here. woke up, had AC, internet, lights. grabbed an espresso shot in the kitchen, hit the gym. traffic lights were out, but the intersections run better when they are, so that’s not actually a bad thing. i was walking anyhow. gym: open, with lights, music, AC. hit the supermarket after, also open, no worries. generators are a way of life. you don’t really expect stuff like “no power” to slow you down.

solid day of work, nice noon walk (3 miles up and down beach, sunny, warm), back to work, dinner, write some stack.

it’s not really fazing.

you can live in this sort of structure just fine as long as you’re not trying to actually run or build anything.

and there are consolations…