When I was about 30 yrs old, my sis-in-law saw me in my swim trunks and jokingly asked me "if I needed all that", referring to my copious love handles. It hit hard, but motivated me to lose the fat, start lifting weights, and keep fit for the last 25+ years. I owe her big time!
Congratulations and good on you for improving yourself! They key part of what your sis-in-law said was that it was a joke, as you put it. She is saying something thats honestly uncomfortable for both parties, but at the end of the day she was still going to love you like family. She was just saying something out loud that most people just keep inside their head.
Nowadays she would be electronically burned at the stake and likely lose her job for a comment like that. The insanity is maddening. Congratulations to you on your clear thinking and serious self-assessment; if only your thinking was that of every college professor and schoolteacher in the world.
When I was about 30 yrs old, my sis-in-law saw me in my swim trunks and jokingly asked me "if I needed all that", referring to my copious love handles. It hit hard, but motivated me to lose the fat, start lifting weights, and keep fit for the last 25+ years. I owe her big time!
Congratulations and good on you for improving yourself! They key part of what your sis-in-law said was that it was a joke, as you put it. She is saying something thats honestly uncomfortable for both parties, but at the end of the day she was still going to love you like family. She was just saying something out loud that most people just keep inside their head.
Nowadays she would be electronically burned at the stake and likely lose her job for a comment like that. The insanity is maddening. Congratulations to you on your clear thinking and serious self-assessment; if only your thinking was that of every college professor and schoolteacher in the world.
No, in-group can shame other humans all they want for whatever they want, as long as the victim is seen as a member of the out-group.