For eons, shame has been used to teach people not to engage in destructive behavior towards others or themselves.
As an extremely effective societal limiting device it it is an important aspect of civilization.
My first run in with shame was back in the late Pleistocene when I was began going through puberty. I had a crush on a girl, and instead of having the stones to ask her out, I lied to my friends about kissing her.
About a week later she and several of her friends confronted me, in front of my friends, about my bullshit and deservedly skewered me.
You can be sure that I never did that again, and an important larger lesson was also learned. Permanently.
We need more of this today, because as gato says, we bid farewell to Goldilocks and very much need to reacquainted.
I had to take several lessons before it got through my thick skull.
My first lesson, and its still as real as my last meal, was being 4 and wanting this little horse figurine at k-mart and not wanting to deal with haggling with my mom. So while she went to another aisle I put it in my pocket. My mother knew this and waited until we were being checked out and said in front of everyone "Ryan what is in your pocket?" I froze in complete shame. And then for effect, she took it out of my pocket, put it in my hand and told me to follow the "manager" back to the aisle to put the horse back in the right spot on the shelf.
The walk of shame. Agony.
I "cheated" a few times after experiencing this, but it was half-hearted and I learned my lesson
For eons, shame has been used to teach people not to engage in destructive behavior towards others or themselves.
As an extremely effective societal limiting device it it is an important aspect of civilization.
My first run in with shame was back in the late Pleistocene when I was began going through puberty. I had a crush on a girl, and instead of having the stones to ask her out, I lied to my friends about kissing her.
About a week later she and several of her friends confronted me, in front of my friends, about my bullshit and deservedly skewered me.
You can be sure that I never did that again, and an important larger lesson was also learned. Permanently.
We need more of this today, because as gato says, we bid farewell to Goldilocks and very much need to reacquainted.
Lmao. Brutal.
I had to take several lessons before it got through my thick skull.
My first lesson, and its still as real as my last meal, was being 4 and wanting this little horse figurine at k-mart and not wanting to deal with haggling with my mom. So while she went to another aisle I put it in my pocket. My mother knew this and waited until we were being checked out and said in front of everyone "Ryan what is in your pocket?" I froze in complete shame. And then for effect, she took it out of my pocket, put it in my hand and told me to follow the "manager" back to the aisle to put the horse back in the right spot on the shelf.
The walk of shame. Agony.
I "cheated" a few times after experiencing this, but it was half-hearted and I learned my lesson
Dang, right back at you. That is a rough patch for a four-year-old...
I have little doubt that our mothers would get along famously. As would their sons...
Indeed mate!
Powerful story.