I just wonder if our desire for individualism and freedom as a culture, both good things generally speaking, has actually added to our sense of loneliness and separation. Add that to working from home, social media addictions, no organic free play for kids... yikes. How do we fix this?
We are fortunate to have a close family and to live in the same city as our adult children, and this is our core unit against the world. We are also Gen X (hubs is very late Boomer) and have often repeated some of these same tough phrases to our progeny, hearing with great angst that we were the meanest parents. But we aren’t paying their bills, they don’t live in the basement and they all know what gender they are. I’m sure we will all face tough times. I have battled mental health issues, which seem to be genetic after having lost a parent and great aunt to suicide, but the meds they gave me made it far worse.
Would love to hear everyone’s suggestions for retrieving our resilience as a people.
Tall Chick, I think that a part of the problem is that, like so many of the big words, the meanings of "individualism" and "freedom" have changed. Individualism for me conjures up images of Davy Crockett or Alexander Solzhenitsyn, men refusing to be broken by nature or evil totalitarianism. Today it has much more narcissistic connotations: dying your hair blue and suing bakers out of existence because they use the wrong pronoun. Same thing goes for freedom: It used to mean doing what hell you wanted in life unless it harmed other people or encroached on their rights. These days, "freedom" means getting to choose which arm you get tattooed or what TikTok vids you can download. Many kids are unhappy because of the harmful changes in the meanings of these two vital words. I've had depression many times in life and, funnily enough, found that the anti-deps helped a lot. They gave me a window of time to make some positive changes. I fully agree though that they are vastly over-prescribed. Stay strong and carry on being the great parent you obviously are!
Spot on! And I did find better living through chemistry, so there were indeed physiological factors, but the doctors throw stuff at the wall to see what sticks, and sadly it kills some people in the process. Almost got me and convinced it got my mom.
Excellent take on how these two ideals have changed. I should add that people now greatly prefer safety, or at least perceived safety, over freedom. Have had they exact discussion with progressive (former) friends. But like the current generation who has never lived without a cell phone or the internet at their fingertips, how can they imagine our former existence? We can’t imagine life without electricity or cars and I’m sure our elders were frustrated with us. They must learn to live the best way they can with the new normal and we owe it to them to guide them as much as possible. I can only hope they find their way. It’s scary as shit though.
I just wonder if our desire for individualism and freedom as a culture, both good things generally speaking, has actually added to our sense of loneliness and separation. Add that to working from home, social media addictions, no organic free play for kids... yikes. How do we fix this?
We are fortunate to have a close family and to live in the same city as our adult children, and this is our core unit against the world. We are also Gen X (hubs is very late Boomer) and have often repeated some of these same tough phrases to our progeny, hearing with great angst that we were the meanest parents. But we aren’t paying their bills, they don’t live in the basement and they all know what gender they are. I’m sure we will all face tough times. I have battled mental health issues, which seem to be genetic after having lost a parent and great aunt to suicide, but the meds they gave me made it far worse.
Would love to hear everyone’s suggestions for retrieving our resilience as a people.
Tall Chick, I think that a part of the problem is that, like so many of the big words, the meanings of "individualism" and "freedom" have changed. Individualism for me conjures up images of Davy Crockett or Alexander Solzhenitsyn, men refusing to be broken by nature or evil totalitarianism. Today it has much more narcissistic connotations: dying your hair blue and suing bakers out of existence because they use the wrong pronoun. Same thing goes for freedom: It used to mean doing what hell you wanted in life unless it harmed other people or encroached on their rights. These days, "freedom" means getting to choose which arm you get tattooed or what TikTok vids you can download. Many kids are unhappy because of the harmful changes in the meanings of these two vital words. I've had depression many times in life and, funnily enough, found that the anti-deps helped a lot. They gave me a window of time to make some positive changes. I fully agree though that they are vastly over-prescribed. Stay strong and carry on being the great parent you obviously are!
Spot on! And I did find better living through chemistry, so there were indeed physiological factors, but the doctors throw stuff at the wall to see what sticks, and sadly it kills some people in the process. Almost got me and convinced it got my mom.
Excellent take on how these two ideals have changed. I should add that people now greatly prefer safety, or at least perceived safety, over freedom. Have had they exact discussion with progressive (former) friends. But like the current generation who has never lived without a cell phone or the internet at their fingertips, how can they imagine our former existence? We can’t imagine life without electricity or cars and I’m sure our elders were frustrated with us. They must learn to live the best way they can with the new normal and we owe it to them to guide them as much as possible. I can only hope they find their way. It’s scary as shit though.