182 Comments
User's avatar
Sophia's avatar

I wish I had thought of this when I was in school. "Today, in preparation for my midterms, I took a measles test this morning. The test came back positive. Thanks to the vaccine, I am only experiencing mild symptoms, but out of an abundance of caution, I will be staying home on my couch and watching re-runs on TV. I am sharing the news out of an abundance of transparent, if rashy and itchy, transparency. I am so #blessed#thankful to be #vaccinated. Get ###vaccinated!"

Rob D's avatar

Thank you. After all, your shot protects me. 😅

GK's avatar

"Vaccine Life" Yay!!

Critical Mass's avatar

Funny but there will be a lot of people who make some sort of Covid syndrome their path to a lifetime of welfare and social services.

Bandit's avatar

That would not be an unusual development.

Wild Bill's avatar

If at first you're not positive, test, test again...

ForkInSocket's avatar

Why leave it to chance? I carry around a vial of C19 positive snot in case I need to test out of something.

darkesthour's avatar

why snot, why not just a papaya? :)

OziSeekerbloke's avatar

I prefer goat, that way I get milk too.

darkesthour's avatar

they're a bit difficult to handle when you're riding a bike but it's manageable -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7-6nXGflec

AnnieGetYourGun's avatar

🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Mordac's avatar

Hey, this is exactly what Justin Trudeau does whenever he wants to weasel out of something.

Dano's avatar

That's U.N.true though.

Sue's avatar

gak! website opens on his face...that's enough to spit up a hairball. so, have you heard what he's up to with the ndp? we are stuck with them until at least 2025. https://www.thestar.com/politics/federal/2022/03/22/prime-minister-justin-trudeau-announces-deal-with-ndp-to-support-liberals-until-2025.html

Nostradamus's avatar

Canada is run by a Mafia. At least half of the federal government is directly accountable to Klauss Schwab and Bill Gates. The country has been sold out. Liberal or NDP are traitors.

Harper was in bed with the MOSSAD and still is, but the new team is in bed with the MOSSAD, Neo-Nazis in Europe, Klauss Schwab and Bill Gates.

You're dealing with a Banana republic - assuming that it has ever been a republic!!

Canada's justice system trademark:

http://werex.org/what-happened-to-the-10-trillion/

Hissing Sid's avatar

trudeau, truedat? truck fudeau!

How is that legal?

Bad as it has been, the UK at least has some checks and balances, we at least pretend to have elections (/s).

Engineering a means to remain in power; rewriting the rules to suit yourself. A certain pariah from the east did something similar to remain in power for over twenty years...

skimmer's avatar

It’s almost like the vaccines weaken the immune system or something

John Raymond's avatar

That there is a conspiracy theorist....

You're really not an American if you think for yourself... just trust the dadgum science and roll up your sleeves

John Raymond's avatar

You walk across the room with a needle in your hand

Spouting bullshit I don't understand

https://www.bitchute.com/video/UYzX2nICs0jg/

Dano's avatar

Yes, follow the science like we do...right out the flippin' window.

John Raymond's avatar

The 35th floor window

David Vicknair's avatar

They are fast coming to grips with that in Hong Kong.

Dan's avatar

"I am sharing this... out of an abundance of transparency." As opposed to... what?

-insert-eye-roll-emoji-here-

Guttermouth's avatar

As opposed to how she normally communicates whenever she opens her mouth.

Yuri Bezmenov's avatar

The Bride of Chucky is always lying or sick.

TRM's avatar

Admit it. You'd both jump her given the chance LOL

Chuck's avatar

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

TRM's avatar

LOL. You more of a Kayleigh type aren't you? I'm not picky. I just agree with stuff to get my way. :)

John Cougar Misanthrope's avatar

She's "twelve-pack sexy" as we used to say back in the bar-hopping days.

Dano's avatar

You mean like she was AOC?

Chuck's avatar

"Thanks to the vaccine, I have only experienced mild symptoms." Never miss an opportunity to pimp for Big Vax.

cmpalmer75's avatar

Three injections and two symptomatic infections. Hmmmm.

John Cougar Misanthrope's avatar

On a positive note, only one side-effect that starts with the letters Q, Y, and Z: Quarantine, Young's syndrome and Zika virus associated Guillain Barre syndrome.

Timothy Williams's avatar

What about White Nipple Sign?

Why is nobody talking about White Nipple Sign??

Daniel's avatar

She “test positive”… she is going to just work from home and be back in 5 days?!?!???! No, consult doctor, take medication, get rest, drink fluid with vitamin supplements and so on? If it is not serious enough to warrant anything more than a mini stay-cation then who cares!!?

Teri G's avatar

My husband got sick in February and had to take the test for work. HR said if it came back positive (it did), after five days if he was symptom free, he could come back to work. However, they also said if it came back negative, he would also have to wait five days and be symptom free to come back to work. We don’t think they realized that this means the test is completely useless.

carol ann's avatar

We have the same nonsense rules here in NZ. If you test positive you have to stay at home for 7 days (was 10 days a few weeks ago but that was causing havoc). Once that period is up if you have no symptoms (the list is so vague to be meaningless) you can go out, work etc and it doesn't matter if you are still testing positive. So the purpose of the test is...........???

Andrea's avatar

They have the PCR tests cranked up to 40. That’s why fruits, coke and wine, tested positive.

carol ann's avatar

The government here controls it all. The PCR tests are useless but for two years that's what they were using. They banned the import of most RAT tests saying they were inaccurate in 2020. Some private companies imported their own to use with staff. Suddenly with Omicron coming, they took over the whole importation and distribution of RATs tests. It's pretty chaotic when you try to control everything but NZ is a small country with a bought off media so that makes everything so much easier. I have no confidence in either test but self testing does allow some unjabbed people to keep their jobs and fly on internal flights. This constant testing is a crock.

Bandit's avatar

The purpose of the test is $$$.

Nostradamus's avatar

PCR Test was known to be useless since day 1.

The developer of the test says clearly that it cannot be used to detect infectious diseases. It can detect nucleic acids that can come from anywhere - flu, influenza, your own metabolic wastes etc....

PCR Test was known since 2020 to produce up to 97% false positives for C-19 and was still used as the criteria by the WHO to declare a "Pandemic".

This is actually a PCR Test plandemic, not a medical "pandemic".

Nostradamus's avatar

It Takes a Village of Stupid Bureaucrats to Implement Medical Despotism

AMA = American Mafia Association

CDC = Center for Death and Corruption

FDA = Fraud and Death Association

HHS = Holistic Humanicide Services

MD = Moral Deficiency

NIH = Nihilism In Healthcare

Nostradamus's avatar

It takes Corrupt Political Clowns (5 eyes) to Sing the Predators’ Mantra

 Castrudeau

https://trudeauknows.ca/

Safe and Effective…

 Brandon

Safe and Effective…

 Buffoon Boris

Safe and Effective…

 Liar from the Shire

Safe and Effective…

 CovidArdern

Safe and Effective…

All clowns being dual citizens of Billgatestan with Diplomatic Immunity.

baker charlie's avatar

This is an aspect of the whole thing that is freaking me out a little. I've been looking for work and last weekend had one of those 72-hour bugs, not much, but enough to spike a slight fever and have some body aches. I'm realizing now, I couldn't just call in sick. I would likely be forced to test to prove that it wasn't covid before returning. I guess I'm back to the bad old days of my restaurant career where we worked sick or not because the schedules and staffing were kept so tight that we rarely had backup. Hopefully the vit D will keep further ickiness away.

carol ann's avatar

As you say, you had a bug and now you're better. No need to share this information with anyone unless you want to, is there?

Bob V's avatar

Probably had IVM at the ready. She is privileged enough to get it.

libertate's avatar

I live in the People's Republic of Silicon Valley.

Every single person I know that got jabbed got Covid, with one exception, and I'd bet she was asymptomatic, like I was (had a pos antibody test).

Most now sheepishly avoid talking about it, but when they do, they pretend they are travelers in the multiverse with the "it would have been worse" nonsense.

After suffering two years with these insufferable hysterical leftist lunatics, half of whom apparently think children are dying in droves (just not here, don't you know) and want to throw me in a concentration camp, I have to say the schadenfreude I experience from their cognitive dissonance is simply delicious.

Vida Galore's avatar

Hilarious. "It would have been worse if I hadn't gotten the jab." LOL

Nostradamus's avatar

Below is my friend's MAC Address from the jab:

“Pfizer borg 00:00:5e:00:53:af”

Schizer can control him by satellite and 5G activation.

Kirsten's avatar

I was wondering how common that is. Have they made a video about it, showing the Bluetooth with their phone, then without their phone?

Nostradamus's avatar

Graphene oxide found in all mRNA/DNA jabs (unofficially) works best at 26GHZ – a 5G frequency. These are 5G frequencies. They're used to create self-assembled networks in the victim's cells. Charles Lieber in Harvard has 50 patents used for nano-networks in the jabs).

https://www.nexusnewsfeed.com/article/health-healing/bluetooth-apps-detect-mac-address-in-most-jabbed/

Some people believe that it's conspiracy theory but I've verified and the above MAC Address is real. We're dealing here with crimes against humanity that's being covered up in day light..

John Cougar Misanthrope's avatar

Can you share the process that you used to verify the MAC address? Is it as simple as using a cellphone in the vicinity of a vaxxed person in an area where no other bluetooth devices are present? Do the jabs use a unique sequence or OUI at the beginning of the MAC address? I would love to share this information with a few family members who think I'm nuts.

Stan_R's avatar

Address Prefix 00:00:5e

Vendor / Company icann, iana department

Start Address 00005e000000

End Address 00005effffff

Company Address internet ass'ned nos.authority los angeles ca 90094-2536 us

Kirsten's avatar

I don't use Bluetooth so these replies don't make sense to me, but maybe they do to others.

Kirsten's avatar

Yes, I've looked into the self-assembling nanoparticles, and evidence of graphene oxide. I think it's helpful to make very clear videos about it if we can, as an easy way to show others what's going on. Like this video on magnets sticking to people. I think this video is very convincing to those who tend to think people's magnet videos are fake.

https://truthcomestolight.com/the-covid-vaccine-magnet-challenge/

John Cougar Misanthrope's avatar

Interesting. Is this limited to Pfizer and Moderna or does it include other jabs like the J&J, AstraZeneca, Sputnik, etc. A family friend took the J&J under duress to save her job and claims based upon "heavy research" that the J&J does not contain graphene oxide or self-assembling nanotechnology. Thanks in advance.

Peter W's avatar

I can prove a negative as well, isn't that great.

Bob V's avatar

Assuming anything out of DC is true, this means Ms. Psaki acquired no immunity from her first bout with covid. It also means the jab did little considering the young and healthy don't generally experience bad effects from what is presumably Omicron. It also supports the OAS theory. Her immune system is turbocharged to produce covid antibodies just the wrong antibodies. Therefore, she may experience many more bouts of covid. What a deal.

Janet's avatar

Constant inflammation from constant immune activation trying to quell something it can’t. That Doesn’t sound good.

Eric M's avatar

Positive PCR test = "family emergency".

The people producing tests must be gasping for air and pissing themselves laughing at the swindle they've pulled off. I wonder if this poor Jen creature has any notion that she is their useful idiot.

Grandma Bear's avatar

Or very conscious tool.

Nostradamus's avatar

Disclaimer of Liability ™

Whilst we endeavor to make our products toxic, we make no representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied about their efficacy and safety.

We cannot guarantee that your gene 144 won’t be deleted, your X / Y Chromosome won’t be inverted, your gene 69-70 won’t be deleted or mutated, that you may experience loss-of-function due to protein folding, that your gene E1, E3, E4 won’t be deleted, that you won’t receive shots full of magnetic graphene oxides, nano-biosensors and self-integrated bio-circuits (motherboards, transistors, routers, antennas, etc…).

We do not guarantee that you won’t be MAC Addressed as per Lord Schwab’s instructions (COVID -19 is a rare but narrow window of opportunity to rethink, reinvent, reset our world).

By using our products you agree that you automatically become legally a trans-human and therefore our property since you are GM-modified using our patented mRNAs (CERTIORARI 12–398).

Trans-humans do not enjoy any human or other rights of a state and this applies worldwide. Our patents are under US jurisdiction and law, where they were registered.

Any reliance you place on our products is therefore strictly at your own risk.

...

Fact Checker: We make sh$t!

https://librti.com/page/view-video?id=1438

LJ's avatar

“We don’t guarantee you won’t experience loss-of-function....” but if you want Gain-of-Function, THAT we can provide at taxpayer expense.

Nostradamus's avatar

We offer paid (gov taxes) gain-of-function on the SARS-Cov-2 side.

We do provide lethal gain-of-function for free (to you but paid for by Schizer/Murderna) on the injection side of the equation using our patented HIV insertions.

BOMBSHELL:

Fauci owns patent on SARS-CoV-2 gp120 HIV insertion, which destroys the body’s cancer-killing T cells

https://www.planet-today.com/2022/03/bombshell-fauci-owns-patent-on-sars-cov.html

Barbls's avatar

I just posted this elsewhere. Seems relevant here, too.

The 2 or 3 DC silo dwellers who actually are concerned with facts surrounding this 2-year debacle need to look at the criminal behavior of the conspirators: FDA and Pfizer. Pfizer behaves as it always has, and the inbred FDA behaves as it always has. Here's an example from 2013 with Pfizer's antidepressant drug Zoloft: https://news.yahoo.com/correction-pfizer-antidepressant-suit-story-222708151.html ...the Food and Drug Administration shouldn't have approved Zoloft because Pfizer didn't publish some clinical studies that found the drug about as effective as a placebo. "It's about Pfizer deliberately withholding this information from consumers and then advertising this drug as very effective," Wisner said. The suit accuses Pfizer of consumer fraud and other offenses, including quietly paying prominent doctors to tout Zoloft to colleagues or to be listed as authors of positive medical journal articles the company prepared for publication. New York-based Pfizer did not specifically respond to those allegations.

MORE STUFF: This clinical trial found that sertraline (ZOLOFT) and st johns wort DID NOT DIFFER FROM PLACEBO. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11939866/

JBK's avatar

And yet actual "hordes" of people still "believe" in all the agencies...the government. I mean they have never lied to us right? They would never hide anything from the hysterical masses would they? I agree with Dan -insert-eye-roll-emoji-here-

Nostradamus's avatar

It Takes a Village of Bureaucrats to Implement Medical Despotism

AMA = American Mafia Association

CDC = Center for Death and Corruption

FDA = Fraud and Death Association

HHS = Holistic Humanicide Services

MD = Moral Deficiency

NIH = Nihilism In Healthcare

Timothy Sullivan's avatar

just today they had to recall one of their blood pressure drugs.

Timothy Sullivan's avatar

Accuretic, and the 2 generics that it licenses.

Timothy Sullivan's avatar

that company is a fucking disaster.

Dano's avatar

The one that made it go up, I bet

TRM's avatar

The gas pump price?

Sirka Sie's avatar

I just posted on JD Rucker that Trudeau got COVID a second time just as the Trucker Convoy was arriving…I guess you could call them Scaredy-people

M. Dowrick's avatar

Oops, wonder how long she has had covid. Twice, really unlucky. But great to see those ongoing jabs are working their magic. Keep taking them Jen, they are working like a dream😂😂😂

Nostradamus's avatar

We are also aware that there have been SARS-Cov-2 reverse zoonotic jumps to your pets but don’t worry.

At Murderna, we’re proud of our guinea pigs - we have you covered for the next viral assault (1 minute video):

https://librti.com/page/view-video?id=1515

At Schizer, we care about your kids and your pets (1 minute video):

https://librti.com/page/view-video?id=1438

Please renew your quarterly booster subscriptions to protect yourself, your pets and your family from the upcoming iDelta variant. We apologize for running out of the alphabet letters for the new variants - vaccines are breeding more variants than originally thought.

We care,

CEOs of Murderna and Schizer

Kirsten's avatar

Yes, go get 'em Jen! 😄

Peregrine's avatar

Covid twice in an uber-vaxxxed prog?

How is that possible?

Nostradamus's avatar

I think her Pfizer MAC Address may not be working correctly when she's out of the country.

She should get a Murderna booster shot.

Dano's avatar

Her Phizer was only set on stun

rjt's avatar

Unnecessary- she already was.

carol ann's avatar

She needs at least two more boosters!

Mrhounddog's avatar

The only sane thing is for her to take a few more shots...just to be sure.

Perplexity's avatar

And she's not even that old. She doesn't look a day over 49.5, anyway.

NE - Naked Emperor Newsletter's avatar

mRNA - more Reasons Not to Attend

Bruce's avatar

She would not be lying if she would've said "Thanks to the vaccine, I am again experiencing symptoms"

Timothy Sullivan's avatar

she cranked the dial all the way to 89 cycles.

WorkingDawg's avatar

Seems like she is one of the many sociopaths that should be on the 1 mRNA "booster" per quarter schedule. Maybe even every other month. Abundance of caution and all that...

Ivan Iriarte's avatar

And of course, THANKS to the "vaccine", she is experiencing only mild symptoms. Imagine what would have happened if she had not taken the "vaccine"!!

Kirsten's avatar

Right?!! "Thanks to the vaccine, the almighty vaccine". (As they bow to the statue of fauci and sacrifice a few chickens).

If she hadn't taken the vaccine, she probably wouldn't have tested positive the second time. (Although I've heard unvaccinated people say they've had repeated infections).

Wild Bill's avatar

Chickens??? Isn't the vax worth at least a few goats?

Kirsten's avatar

😅😅 Definitely! 🐐🐐🐐

Carol Anne's avatar

So I’m sitting here after dinner, drinking my tea and reading through this substack. I can’t stop laughing. You are all hilarious. Best comments ever!!!! You made my day!

Bob Thebuilder's avatar

The woman knows how to lie, doesn't she!

Grandma Bear's avatar

Well, that's her job isn't it?

Nostradamus's avatar

She controls the parrots.

It Takes a Compliant Mediatic Clergy to Coordinate the Mass Formation Psychosis Assault for Fun and Profits – Masquerading Bioweapons as Vaccines

National

 BBC = British Pravda - British Broadcast Castration

 CBC = Canadian Pravda - Crown Broadcast Castration

 CNN = American Pravda - Center for National Nullity

 Fakebook = American Pravda - Fake Fact Checkers

 Google Search = American Pravda - Search Torpedoes

 NYT = American Pravda - New York Trancers

 Twitter = American Pravda - Censorhip Birds

 WaPo = American Pravda - Washington Popcat

 Youtube = American Pravda – Your Censorhip Promised Land

Global

 Agence France Presse – Globalistan Pravda

 Associated Press – Globalistan Pravda

 Reuters - Globalistan Pravda – Fake Fact Checkers

Ellen's avatar

( or maybe, it's immune erosion ... or maybe miss jenny is so important, they make the tests say whatever she wants ... or maybe she just made it all up ... when people lie so much, hard to know when they might be telling the truth (rarely? sometimes?) .. but easy to know when to not trust them (never ever) ...

Maria Romana's avatar

Joe is in no danger; they didn't give him the shot. Psaki, OTOH, has been triple-vaxxed, I believe, thus, she is susceptible to continuous reinfection. Lucky for her, she gets to skip the Euro trip, on which Joe might encounter a false flag event to finish him off...

rjt's avatar

I think she's on Joe's placebo team, until she becomes too much of an embarrassment. Three placebos and she mistook her IVM for her vitamin.

AL's avatar

They've no doubt figured it out long ago. She doesn't often travel with him for much bigger reasons.

Fakeologist's avatar

She doesn't want her hair fondled.

Nostradamus's avatar

She fears Fauci's ghost.

BOMBSHELL:

Fauci owns patent on SARS-CoV-2 gp120 HIV insertion, which destroys the body’s cancer-killing T cells

https://www.planet-today.com/2022/03/bombshell-fauci-owns-patent-on-sars-cov.html

Butterfly2510's avatar

She obviously hates him n her job.

cat's avatar

her black roots were showing....

TommyV's avatar

I think Covid can only work a few more times....seems like every booster gives you a positive test and Covid as well...she's just hoping they come up with a 4th, 5th and 6th booster or as many as she needs before she deserts the sinking ship for TV! LOL!

Rose Loomis's avatar

She’s the picture of health isn’t she!

John Raymond's avatar

I saw pics of her last week... she looked uglier than me

SCA's avatar

Look. In the morning she glues the mask to her kindergartner's face. Like getting the cat into the bubblebath. You gets worn out...(the nanny has to unglue it so she only has to wrangle it one-way)...

Nostradamus's avatar

Dear SCA,

The vaccines are safe and effective

The vaccines are safe and effective

The vaccines are safe and effective

The vaccines are safe and effective

The vaccines are safe and effective

The vaccines are safe and effective

Any further questions please don’t hesitate to take the vaccine first and stop asking impertinent questions,

Yours, unfaithfully,

...

Fact Checker: We make sh$t!

https://librti.com/page/view-video?id=1438

SCA's avatar

Alternate version:

You will remember nothing. You will remember nothing....

John Bowman's avatar

I wonder, if as well as Long CoVid, there is a new condition, Fake CoVid - symptoms are: absence of CoVid symptoms, obsessive PCR Testing, frequent self-isolation, compulsive masking, telling everybody you have tested positive and are following the rules to protect others?

HornIt's avatar

Thanks to her relative youth and good health, her symptoms have been mild....both times. Thanks to the vaccine, she's more vulnerable to infection than an unvaxxed person is.

FLR's avatar

"Thanks to the vaccine"...... so she got corona twice in less than 5 months. Thanks to the vaccine, her natural immune response has been destroyed. Moron.

Peter W's avatar

"thanks to the vaccine" ....I've got Covid again!

Silly person.

Paula Deplorable's avatar

I don’t think they’ll ever admit that the shots make things worse!

I’m so sorry I got the jab because I had to do a medical procedure and they wouldn’t do it without me getting jabbed! I guess I can look forward to constantly getting Covid…I’ve got my ivermectin though….

Rosemary B's avatar

keeeep testing and testing.

She probably tests positive for a host of other viruses as well.

rjt's avatar

Please inform Chuck and Dr Halliday above- I am "concerned" that they are fantasizing trouble.

The Motherlord's avatar

Something very exciting is going to happen soon. Dare I say, turbulent?

totisviribus@protonmail.com's avatar

There seems to be a never ending supply of useful Covid idiots.

Prof Rod's avatar

See. I told you she should have had the 4th, 5th and 6th boosters before she went out in public ...

Cathleen Manny's avatar

The tests are no good. The shots are no good. This woman is a lying, evil person.

libertate's avatar

Hillary Clinton, affectionately known throughout the rest of the world as the Liberatress of Libya, has tested positive for the plague.

Not to worry, she's protected by the jabs.

https://twitter.com/HillaryClinton/status/1506397903765581836

Bandit's avatar

Are being horrendously ugly, a sociopath, and a traitor, comorbidities? 🤞

smokegetsinyoureyes's avatar

Oh yay, Willy Wonka again 🤣👏👏

& “Maybe she’s just not that into you” 🤣👏👏Made. My. Day. Poor Jen. It’s *almost* like maybe the vaccine doesn’t work!

Odell's avatar

oh mr cynical paws! I needed that laugh! thank you!

Fakeologist's avatar

She's circling back home. Must not like plane travel - I also suggest she stay away from hot tubs too.

John Raymond's avatar

She' s gonna have to take that one way flight to Nuremberg...

As well as black spokeswoman, What we are after is COMPLIANCE

Thiago's avatar

"thanks to the vaccine"... lmao @ democrats

hoppah's avatar

I would always treat her as if she carried a virulent, deadly, extremely communicable pathogen.