156 Comments

Is there a give - send - go account we can help him with his bail?

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Become one of his apostles, instead. Do as he does.

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Well we all need a good laugh, and you gave me mine for the day.

Being as it's satire after all here's a few more good laughs from two of the sites posting it.

https://kvta4.com/

Over 350 Stitches Were Needed To Sew Up Woman’s Vagina After Doctors Removed A Stuck Gear Shifter

https://kvta4.com/breaking-news/gods-soldier-on-earth-caught-cutting-off-37-man-buns-in-one-day-claims-he-was-doing-the-lords-work/

https://dailynewsreported.com/

High School Teacher Faces Prison After Cellphone Footage Reveals Massive Student Blowjob Scandal

https://dailynewsreported.com/breakingnews/criminal-caught-after-cutting-off-37-man-buns-in-one-day-claims-he-was-doing-the-lords-work/

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He WAS doing the Lord's work! There's nothing dorkier, lamer, and points to an effeminate geek more, than a "man bun."

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Now be careful. There's the samurai coiffure, and I'm currently watching a K-drama with a supporting character man-bunned who would've indeed beaten that barber to a pulp. It's really not so much about the style as it is about the stones of the wearer.

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Yes, and you can tell the difference on sight.

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Take one look at Zlatan Ibrahimović and "I will just keep the scissors in the pocket" comes to mind LOL. He was one of the first sports stars to wear it. Some players pulled on it to try and distract him but an elbow to the ribs stopped that in a hurry LOL.

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😂 Elbow to the ribs!

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It’s twoo! It’s twoo! It’s not the bun that makes the man however. The testosterone deprived sow boys are trying to compensate for something perhaps by sporting an ancient Japanese symbol of warrior manhood that’s easy to do like everything else in most of their lives. Lot of samurai based video games 🎮 giving them the desire to appear as something they are not? The possible explanations are almost endless.

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As I recall Toshiro Mifune and Yukio Mishima ate quite a lot of, you know, soy.

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duh yesss...fyi.. nutritionfacts.org /blog/what-is-the-gladiator-diet-and-how-do-vegetarian-athletes-stack-up/

What Is the Gladiator Diet and How Do Vegetarian Athletes Stack Up?

Michael Greger M.D. FACLM

I compare the diets of the Roman gladiator “barley men” and army troopers to the modern Spartans of today.

The remains of dozens of Roman gladiators were recently discovered in a mass grave in ancient Ephesus (Turkey). The clue to their identities was the rather distinct types of mortal injuries the researchers found, like being speared in the head with a trident, as you can see at 0:15 in my video The Gladiator Diet: How Vegetarian Athletes Stack Up. Just by examining the skeletons, the researchers were able to reconstruct the deathblows, show just how muscular and buff the gladiators really were, and even try to reconstruct their diet “of barley and beans.” You can look at carbon isotopes and see what kinds of plants they ate. Nitrogen isotopes reflect intake of animal protein, for example, and looking at the sulphur in their bones and the amount of strontium led commentators to submit that the best athletes in ancient Rome ate largely plant-based diets.

The legionnaires, the Roman army troopers famed for their fighting abilities, also ate a similar kind of diet, suggesting the “best fighters in the ancient world were essentially vegetarian.” So, if the so-called perfect fighting machines, the great sports heroes of their day, were eating mostly grains and beans, what does that tell us about sports nutrition and the preferred diets of elite athletes? “The diet of most Greeks and Romans was basically vegetarian,” centered on grains, fruits, vegetables, and beans, so maybe the gladiators’ diets weren’t that remarkable. Ancient Greek philosopher Plato pushed plants, for instance, preferring plant foods for their health and efficiency.

The Roman gladiators were known as the “barley men.” Did they eat barley because it “gave them strength and stamina,” or just because barley was a common, “basic food” people ate at the time—not necessarily for performance, but because it was cheap?

Let’s look at the modern Spartans, the Tarahumara Indians, who run races where they kick a ball for 75 miles just for the fun of it. They run all day, all night, and all the next day for “as much as 150 miles and more” if they’re feeling in the mood. What do they get if they win? “Interestingly, a traditional prize of victory is said to be a special popularity with the women (although how much of a reward that would actually prove to be for a man who had been running for two days and a night is questionable, to say the least!).” Though, maybe their endurance extends in other arenas, as well.

“Probably not since the days of the ancient Spartans has a people achieved such a high state of physical conditioning.” So, what do they eat? They eat the same kind of 75 to 80 percent starch diet, based on beans, corn, and squash, and have the cholesterol levels to prove it, with total cholesterol levels down at 136 mg/dL, which is essentially heart attack-proof. They don’t have special genetics, either, because data show that if you feed them enough egg yolks, their cholesterol levels creep right up, as you can see at 2:52 in my video.

Modern day Olympic runners eat similarly. What are they eating in Kenya? They’re following a 99 percent vegetarian diet centered mostly on various starches...

“In spite of the well-documented health benefits of vegetarian diets, less is known regarding the effects of these diets on athletic performance.” Researchers compared elite vegetarian and omnivore endurance athletes for aerobic fitness and strength by comparing oxygen utilization on the treadmill and quad strength with leg extensions. The vegetarians beat out their omnivore counterparts for cardiorespiratory fitness, but their strength didn’t differ. This suggests, at the very least, “that vegetarian diets do not compromise performance outcomes and may facilitate aerobic capacity in athletes.” ..

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They weren't being systematically poisoned by their governments and medics from birth however...

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And their fields were not sprayed.

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I love brussels sprouts as much as anyone--or perhaps a lot more than many--but do be mindful of the safety of your limbs if you try to take away my cheddar cheese or a nice bloody burger.

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Yeah, that all sounds like a good meal! YUM!

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Mifune was well-endowed all over. He could stand still and his aura told anyone: "You will regret messing with me!" The man bun soy boy toys are trying to compensate for something shrivelled between their legs.

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I dislike over-generalizing about anything.

It's these particular now bunless guys who have, unfortunately, clearly demonstrated a lack of the right equipment.

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Uoooo, turned on by all those chop, slice, hack manly Easterns movies eh? Just as fictional as the Westerns ultimately. Remember that no screen writer writes the script out here in the real world.

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Tofu! 😁

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Which is made from--

I guess someone is ordering herself some Szechuan-style fried tofu tomorrow with a side of Mongolian beef. Between Toshiro Mifune and Ichikawa Ebizo, I'm feeling quite hungry.

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Ooohhh, stop with the food already! You're makin' me hungry! 😉😊😋

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🙌

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Soooo... kinda like a Jayne's Hat

https://buildingapoem.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/jaynes-hat.jpg

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I do feel that none of us should let others determine the acceptable style we wish to present with. That is of course the point of this post.

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But it held to be big and mean and usually armed.

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Well, yes. Or to have a Ukrainian oligarch gentleman acquaintance with those sorts of people in his employ.

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Boy is that true, then and now! My nephew is gonna get it! Thanks for the harassment ammo. Heh, heh 😈.

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This has a long tradition. Way back when, people ran around cutting off those little back of the neck braids men wore in the 18th century. And not so long ago, an Amish sect took umbrage regarding bushy beards, and empowered some barbers to do the Lord's work. :-D

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Yep. I'm too old to date, but if I did, there's no way I'd date a guy with one.

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You're never too old.

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Remember in the '80s when guys started leaving a lock of hair at the back uncut? 'Tails' they were called.

One night at a high school dance, a guy in my school went around and cut a bunch of them off. Much hilarity ensued.

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As a Baby Boomer young man when the Chinese coulee pigtails* started showing up on men and women back in the day as it were many of us started referring to them as ‘fuse heads’ and wondered how long the fuse would burn before their heads exploded? 😈. Wondered much the same about afros when they showed up except the question was how long it would burn before the wearer noticed it? Chuckle, snicker, snicker! 😇

*Look it up and learn some non pc history.

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Today, of course, carrying scissors o school property is undoubtedly verboten. The trauma endured by the un-tailed would require months of 'counseling'. And the witnesses, the poor witnesses! Work for weeks for teams of 'mental health professionals'.

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oh it wasn't just the 80s. My dad wore one of those from about 95-97. When he cut it my stepmom gave him crap for selling out lol.

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Did he get the shit kicked out of him ?

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I wouldn’t hop to conclusions

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Are you making a reference to Hop Sing, the Chinese cook, in Bonanza? 😏

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Any man wearing a ‘man bun’ deserves to have it chopped off

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"IT" not meaning the bun

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Those are probably too small to make removing the tool itself worth the effort.

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😂😂

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I disagree. It's just that a manbunned guy who lets others decide his coiffure is a problem.

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Disagree Ma'am. HE is not a problem. He is a SYMPTOM of a very real problem.

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I have no problem with longhaired men, and as a woman who used to be quite longhaired I recognize the inconvenience of overly flowing locks.

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The problem is not the length of his hair. Or even the bun.

The problem is that he "lets others decide his coiffure is a problem".

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Haven't I said that here already?

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How low should it be cut? I’m thinking somewhere above the waistline.

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Are you Toshiro Mifune? Then, no. No man buns.

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/381328293444809394/

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Love his big smile 😁

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Lmao, I love this guy, maybe the man banners will grow a set of balls and become men. Everyone's perception is different and equally valid but as a woman, the man bun is an explicit statement of passivity and weakness. I'd never expect any type of stance on anything from a man bun guy/it, aside from an easy pushover. On a more neutral note, it just looks ugly to me and is not attractive at all. But... I like men. Real men.

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I do often feel that I, despite my undiminished womanliness even after the purported weakening of my allure by menopause, have more free and useful testosterone circulating in my body than them guys.

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Hilarious. And possibly true.

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I think the rumors about testosterone and tofu and quiche eating may have some validity?

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Samurai eat tofu and it never seems to have slowed them down.

Quiche is delicious. Eggs, meat and cheese. Or even with broccoli which is a vegetable I greatly enjoy.

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Yeah, but they ate the real stuff made from real raw ingredients - not superduperhyperprocessed Chemistry 101-materials called food.

Could be you're both right, I think.

The real stuff isn't dangerous - the chemical goop called food has phytoestrogens through the roof, colouring agents of all kinds, preservatives, and to top it off - PFAS and microplastics in abundance.

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It's very sad for all of us that the chemicals and plastics--well, that's a redundancy--are inescapable no matter what we choose to eat.

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A bit ‘thinsittive’ aren’t we considering the nature of the conversation going on here? That’s why the sentence ended in a question mark. You wouldn’t be sporting one would you? Hmmm 🤔?

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As a gal I'd note that any buns I might wear won't be man-ones.

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Apparently he had a very good time!

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As a proud and unrepentant atheist, I confirm this man was absolutely, positively, doing the Lord's work. Hallelujah!

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If anyone out there wants to know what a “shit eating grin” looks like this is it! 😂🤣😁

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Mistakenly thought what was meant was not hair!!! But after reading the comments, I realized what he cut was hair. Thank goodness!!!!

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It was just a thought...

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Good and faithful servant

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I wanna see the guy who was sporting 37 manbuns!

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English can be so ambiguous at times.

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Do individual hairs constitute manbuns?

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This is outrageous! Every person has the God-given right to go around looking like a complete moron.

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😂😂

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And succeeding beautifully...

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