158 Comments
User's avatar
Chris Bray's avatar

"Lucky Charms Cause Myocarditis and Blood Clots, CDC Announces"

John Carter's avatar

Today in "anything but the vaxx".

Moray Watson's avatar

Thank goodness I'm in the control group, again.

Martha's avatar

But has 95% efficacy as a cereal...

Integrity and Karma's avatar

And oddly enough, the CDC reports that 15-40 year olds who'd given the cereal up as " disgusting for both body and soul" had started to "wolf the cereal down!"around Dec 2020...

Mark Oshinskie's avatar

They have always sprayed vitamins onto cereal. Now they've sprayed on the mRNA vaxx to surmount "vaxx hesitancy."

DelMundo's avatar

Shh 🤫 don’t give them ideas! They’re already trying to get the vax into vegetables 🥗 🥦 look into it!

Vigilant Amalek Snow Leopard's avatar

"Sugary Treat Also Implicated in Rising Auto Immune Disorders" WaPo headline probably

Margaret Anna Alice's avatar

Can someone tell them 1,226,312 people got sick after the injection? I’m sure they would do something about it if they knew.

Vigilant Amalek Snow Leopard's avatar

"The effects of the Lucky Charms Vaccines are a necessary risk to avoid the far worse consequences of the dreadful Sugary Cereal Disease. We must vaccinate everyone or the Sugary Cereal Disease will spread like wildfire. I'm on my fourth booster right now. And I will be protected and safe. For the next ten minutes."

Signed, Your Twitter Coach John Nemesis, probably

Datagal's avatar

The patient died but it would have been so much worse if he hadn’t eaten Lucky Charms.

LJ's avatar

Oh no SCD! 😱

Quick where’s my mask! And the Lysol...

Vigilant Amalek Snow Leopard's avatar

What are you, some kind of SCD anti-vaxxer?

This is serious, Laura!

SCD just killed 200m people in South Africa and the SCD Zeta variant just hijacked an airplane and flew it into a mountain!

LJ's avatar

🤣 but no one died in a car crash right after being vaccinated

Connie Benn's avatar

People were probably eating the cereal part. Every knows you’re supposed to just eat the marshmallows and throw the rest away.

el gato malo's avatar

the milk was pretty good at the end.

DelMundo's avatar

Froot Loops and choco Krispies too!!!

smokegetsinyoureyes's avatar

Reminds me of when I bought this very wonderful garbage as a treat when my kids were younger. My then two year old, in a moment (or many moments!) of unsupervised bliss dumped the whole box onto the floor so he could more easily find and eat just the marshmallows. I was kinda pissed when I discovered. But! Genius! Yet another reason I’d never vax him or his sisters 💕🤣👍🏼

NCmom's avatar

I just turned 40 and I still only eat the marshmallows....... only difference is it’s after the kids are in bed at night that I’m sneaking bowls in.......... 😳

AndyinBC's avatar

My understanding is that you eat the box and discard the contents.

LJ's avatar

To avoid the excess mRNA?

TrustPeace's avatar

Well, then you’re in luck 🍀! They now sell just the marshmallows 🤩! And I’ve heard from a very reliable source that a bowl of them taste like cotton candy. It seems there really can be too much of a good thing.🤢

ForkInSocket's avatar

Ingredients: grade f circus animals and some filler

Robert Holmes's avatar

That was my thing when I was 8!

YYR's avatar

Now I eat the box.

Bandit's avatar

I'm sure it tastes better.

User's avatar
Comment deleted
Apr 19, 2022
Comment deleted
Bandit's avatar

🙌 Amen! That is THE nastiest cereal EVER! Even worse than Cheerios. 😖

DeDeFlyover's avatar

Cheerios are great. I used to throw a couple of them in the toilet as a target to potty train my son on how to shoot strait. And there was none of that gender identity confusion. I told him he was a boy because he had a pecker. Case closed.

shasta (non-English speaker)'s avatar

You must be a very good biologist.

Bandit's avatar

I've heard of other parents using Cheerios for that reason. Seems like a good idea.

libertate's avatar

Looks like General Mills needs to go to the Pfizer School of Regulatory Capture.

Nicole W's avatar

Substack readers are both wickedly smart and witty!

NCmom's avatar

I think that was the food pyramid......... 😂

I think my early age rejection of the food pyramid was training for vaccine rejection. I was a competitive enough swimmer growing up that I was in the pool 20+ hours a week and forced to listen to athlete nutritionists a lot. I mostly only listened because I like protein and they recommended lots of it. I like cheese too which they weren’t big on, but hey, it has protein and never made me gain weight. 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, It never got boring to ask the athletic nutritionist people, who I am convinced have a birth defect whereby they have no taste buds, “but what about the food pyramid?” and watch their heads go 🤯

The people recommending vaccines today are a lot like the ones that were telling kids it’s healthy to eat 5ibs of bread a day and virtually no animal protein when I was growing up in the 1980’s/ 1990’s. Does anyone really want to live the consequences of these peoples’ “public health” recommendations when a walk around any public venue shows us how well that big ag marketing campaign pretending to be “public health guidance” worked out?????

Vigilant Amalek Snow Leopard's avatar

And if I'm not mistaken, much like the Vaccine, err..."vaccines" being pushed by interested parties, the old boatload of carbs Food Pyramid was funded by Big Carb. (Big Corn, maybe?) Too lazy to look up. But yeah, that thing can be a rocket ride to obesity unless you are a competitive swimmer or runner or triathlete or work a highly demanding physical job.

You will never be sated and you will be spiking insulin all day long.

Guynoir's avatar

Hey people get sick all the time.

Correlation is not causation.

You're RACIST!

or something

Nicole W's avatar

My very first thought when I say this on the FDA reporting site! So we just ignore the 26k deaths and 1.3 jab AEs, to further look into 100 belly aches from crappy processed food?

Rogier van Vlissingen's avatar

so they investigate a bad batch of Lucky Charms, but they ignore the vaccines?

LJ's avatar

And Similac recently for 5 deaths, go figure

Wesley Hoyle's avatar

Horrifying new mRNA (marshmallow RNA) technology, instant diabetes.

cat's avatar

This just in: A box of Lucky Charms cereal was found lying on the floor in the Capital building on January 6th. More news at 11:00 !

Wild Bill's avatar

Thanks be to God that they are looking out for us! What would we do without them??

DeDeFlyover's avatar

Livin’ large. That’s where we’d be. 🤪

Yuri Bezmenov's avatar

Aye me FDA, it’s magically duplicitous

el gato malo's avatar

"tragically suspicious"

Peregrine's avatar

Is there a CAERS (Cereal Adverse Event Reporting System)?

(TRIX > Lucky Charms)

Rob D's avatar

100 people get sick from cereal and they'll probably have a giant recall of the product. *Thousands* of people *die* and *millions* of people get injured from an experimental "vaccine" and not only are the "vaccines" not taken off the market, but the populace is told to take even more of the "vaccines" and the same despicable agency that supposedly is worried about people getting sick from cereal rubs their hands together as they figure out a way to get an obviously deadly product into every human age 0 and up...

Lisa@eatrealfood's avatar

Exactly why these comments are expressing hilarity despite also crying

Elizabeth's avatar

But don’t you realize those people would have died a really bad death if they’d gotten Covid!

LJ's avatar

I know this blog has been comic relief but on a serious note you are aware they actually did that with Similac and some baby formulas earlier this year? 4 deaths I believe and it got pulled.

Paul Simpson's avatar

"Eating Lucky Charms tied to Long COVID."

Ki's avatar

That scamp leprechaun will be found and hung by his little green breeches, but not so much for Fauci.