Sadly, they do not. Living in a deep blue state with the most consistently strict covid policies in the country we still managed to keep our high schooler on a logical footing with regards to lockdowns, etc, throughout the last half of his junior year and his entire senior year. One semester away at college and he is all of a sudden not …
Sadly, they do not. Living in a deep blue state with the most consistently strict covid policies in the country we still managed to keep our high schooler on a logical footing with regards to lockdowns, etc, throughout the last half of his junior year and his entire senior year. One semester away at college and he is all of a sudden not bothered by the restrictions, tells us that his life "didn't really change that much from them" (this from an state champ athlete that was not allowed to compete for his final two years), and that "all that was asked was that we wear a mask to help a public health emergency." I nearly wept. And this from a young man majoring in a hard science. I can only remain consistent in my messaging and hope that his pre-frontal cortex develops quickly enough that begins to wake up before the brain rot completely consumes him.
The saddest part to me is the kids at the elite colleges who are tolerating restrictions that are even worse than what the general population has endured. Their lockdowns are so draconian that it seems that students are more prisoners than paying customers. These kids are still allowing these unbelievably arrogant institutions to dictate the fine details of their lives (shots, boosters, masks, distancing, constant testing, no dining in cafeterias, online classes, no social gatherings, and in some cases, rat out your neighbor, no leaving the county, no dining at restaurants - its absolutely insane). I've seen parents slobber all over themselves because they truly believe this is protecting their precious kid and they are just so happy that their kid got in that they would never question the policies or the damage it does to their kid. And since these are our elite institutions, our future leaders are now already conditioned to obey any and all insane totalitarian mandates. It is terrifying to think these are our future leaders.
Just a thought: It may bother him more than you think but he doesn't want you to worry while he is away at college. What he is saying may be more of an, "I'm okay Mom and Dad. Don't worry I can deal with this."
I don't know. I don't know your boy but I do know that it's typical for kids to not want their parents to worry about them when they go off to college. Sometimes that means they paint the picture more rosey than it actual is. Not wanting his parents to worry or become upset about what he is going through may be the reason he minimizes it. That would be coming from a place of love. Think about it.
Thank you, those are kind words. He definitely does like to think he has everything all figured out. He IS a 19-year-old boy, after all, if you don't think that they know everything, just ask them. 😄
LOL I remember when my son was 3 and a toy had broken in many, many pieces. I was at work and he insisted to my wife that, "Daddy will fix it. He knows how to do everything."
Fast forward to when he was 16 and discussing something: "Dad you just don't know anything about this."
Fast Forward to 25: "Dad, I really need to talk to you. I need your advice on something."
Interesting about your son. What does he say when confronted with the truth? That he lost two valuable years of his life - teen years that he will never get back all for something that has almost zero chance of hurting him. That we deprived him of a full life for nothing. What is his answer going to be if they require vaccination for college?,
Now is the time to hammer home critical thinking. The logic side of the brain can be used IRL, not just in theory.
He hates talking about it now. He actually asks not to discuss it because he says we won't agree and won't change one another's mind. We keep telling him that he needs to get used to talking about his beliefs and backing them up when people question him about them, and that not all discussions have to end in agreement, sometimes just ending in thought is enough.
I point out that his dad and I don't agree on all topics we discuss, nor do my friends and I, and that if you live in an echo chamber, you never even have a chance to evolve and grow.
I think a lot of that "don't talk about it" bent comes from the current craze for cancelling and no-platforming. It is, sadly, doing exactly what it is designed to do - shutting down people's comfort with healthy debate.
IMO what you said to your son was the exact right thing. People can have honest disagreement on things. Totally agree the cancelling is doing just what they want it to. I took a debate class in college. It really prepared me to defend my positions, understand opposing positions and shake hands at the end knowing I was better for having the experience and knowledge. That wasn't a think in my house growing up. Your son is lucky to have parents that talk issues out well. Best wishes as navigates these bumpy roads ahead.
I don't know. He may be wiser than you think. Probably surounded by people at college who he knows he would be wasting his time trying to see a different perspective. And again, he may not want to discuss/debate it with you because he agrees with you and doesn't want you to worry about him.
The first piece may be true, but I don't think that second posit is. If he agreed, he wouldn't specifically say that he doesn't want to discuss because we don't agree and won't agree.
You know your boy. I have two children. Daughter 25 who was vax questioning before covid came along. She isn't vaxxed. Son 30 got the initial 2 shots but recently decided to not get the booster. Of course I have been swamping him with info for quite awhile and that may have had an impact. He has been opposed to mandates all along.
Sadly, they do not. Living in a deep blue state with the most consistently strict covid policies in the country we still managed to keep our high schooler on a logical footing with regards to lockdowns, etc, throughout the last half of his junior year and his entire senior year. One semester away at college and he is all of a sudden not bothered by the restrictions, tells us that his life "didn't really change that much from them" (this from an state champ athlete that was not allowed to compete for his final two years), and that "all that was asked was that we wear a mask to help a public health emergency." I nearly wept. And this from a young man majoring in a hard science. I can only remain consistent in my messaging and hope that his pre-frontal cortex develops quickly enough that begins to wake up before the brain rot completely consumes him.
The saddest part to me is the kids at the elite colleges who are tolerating restrictions that are even worse than what the general population has endured. Their lockdowns are so draconian that it seems that students are more prisoners than paying customers. These kids are still allowing these unbelievably arrogant institutions to dictate the fine details of their lives (shots, boosters, masks, distancing, constant testing, no dining in cafeterias, online classes, no social gatherings, and in some cases, rat out your neighbor, no leaving the county, no dining at restaurants - its absolutely insane). I've seen parents slobber all over themselves because they truly believe this is protecting their precious kid and they are just so happy that their kid got in that they would never question the policies or the damage it does to their kid. And since these are our elite institutions, our future leaders are now already conditioned to obey any and all insane totalitarian mandates. It is terrifying to think these are our future leaders.
And the kids love it. They lap it up.
Even before Covid, they gave up their privacy, data, and right to express individual opinions to be able to hang out with friends on social media.
Just a thought: It may bother him more than you think but he doesn't want you to worry while he is away at college. What he is saying may be more of an, "I'm okay Mom and Dad. Don't worry I can deal with this."
I don't know. I don't know your boy but I do know that it's typical for kids to not want their parents to worry about them when they go off to college. Sometimes that means they paint the picture more rosey than it actual is. Not wanting his parents to worry or become upset about what he is going through may be the reason he minimizes it. That would be coming from a place of love. Think about it.
P.S.-- The world needs more parents like you.
Thank you, those are kind words. He definitely does like to think he has everything all figured out. He IS a 19-year-old boy, after all, if you don't think that they know everything, just ask them. 😄
LOL I remember when my son was 3 and a toy had broken in many, many pieces. I was at work and he insisted to my wife that, "Daddy will fix it. He knows how to do everything."
Fast forward to when he was 16 and discussing something: "Dad you just don't know anything about this."
Fast Forward to 25: "Dad, I really need to talk to you. I need your advice on something."
The stages of parenthood.
Mark Twain said "When I was 14 I thought my father was the dumbest person around. When I was 21 I was amazed at how much he'd learned in 7 years".
The arrogance of youth. Queen has a song "We want it all" that sums up youth perfectly. Ah the good old days, long, long ago for me.
Exactly!
Totally agree. Good parents for sure.
Interesting about your son. What does he say when confronted with the truth? That he lost two valuable years of his life - teen years that he will never get back all for something that has almost zero chance of hurting him. That we deprived him of a full life for nothing. What is his answer going to be if they require vaccination for college?,
Now is the time to hammer home critical thinking. The logic side of the brain can be used IRL, not just in theory.
Blessings on your family.
He hates talking about it now. He actually asks not to discuss it because he says we won't agree and won't change one another's mind. We keep telling him that he needs to get used to talking about his beliefs and backing them up when people question him about them, and that not all discussions have to end in agreement, sometimes just ending in thought is enough.
I point out that his dad and I don't agree on all topics we discuss, nor do my friends and I, and that if you live in an echo chamber, you never even have a chance to evolve and grow.
I think a lot of that "don't talk about it" bent comes from the current craze for cancelling and no-platforming. It is, sadly, doing exactly what it is designed to do - shutting down people's comfort with healthy debate.
IMO what you said to your son was the exact right thing. People can have honest disagreement on things. Totally agree the cancelling is doing just what they want it to. I took a debate class in college. It really prepared me to defend my positions, understand opposing positions and shake hands at the end knowing I was better for having the experience and knowledge. That wasn't a think in my house growing up. Your son is lucky to have parents that talk issues out well. Best wishes as navigates these bumpy roads ahead.
Thank you.
I don't know. He may be wiser than you think. Probably surounded by people at college who he knows he would be wasting his time trying to see a different perspective. And again, he may not want to discuss/debate it with you because he agrees with you and doesn't want you to worry about him.
The first piece may be true, but I don't think that second posit is. If he agreed, he wouldn't specifically say that he doesn't want to discuss because we don't agree and won't agree.
You know your boy. I have two children. Daughter 25 who was vax questioning before covid came along. She isn't vaxxed. Son 30 got the initial 2 shots but recently decided to not get the booster. Of course I have been swamping him with info for quite awhile and that may have had an impact. He has been opposed to mandates all along.