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Margaret Anna Alice's avatar

Muchas gracias, Professor Gato, for making it so easy for us! All we need to remember is “because, science,” and we never need to try that exhausting exercise called thinking again!

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Frontera Lupita's avatar

😜😘

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John Bowman's avatar

Years ago, Lufthansa which I used to avoid, unlike other airlines had its smoking/non-smoking arranged fore and aft: non-smoking left hand rows, smoking across the aisle in the right hand rows.

Then came wide-body jets, and with renowned rigid Germanic adherence to rules, the non-smoking/smoking demarcation went down the middle of the centre rows of seats, so if you were lucky enough to be seated in the centre, the person next to you on your right, at your elbow, could smoke. However it was streng verboten for the smoke to come in your direction, and so good, obedient German smoke stayed in the smoking zone and didn’t at all bother non-smokers.

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Rosemary B's avatar

this is very funny. We are living in a nightmare.

This is just a few steps away to the ends of this charade. Complete totalitarianism

two weeks ago I took my 98 year old daddy to surgery (he got a nerve block and was fully awake) to repair his fractured and displaced olecranon. I stayed with him until he had to go into surgery, then I waited in the large "waiting room" very open and modern, small hospital but dad's surgeon was excellent and quite handsome...

Anyway. I sat in a part of the large room, not close to anyone within several +++ yards. The two overseers at the front desk constantly monitored everyone's mask wearing.

I would have gone out to my car but it was fricking freezing outside. And I needed to be available. So, I decided to eat my lunch... It was 1:00 and I was starving. I had a sandwich that I opened up and I was told to keep my mask on. No one was near me. It was so weird. People are nuts. I took bites and immediately replaced my mask and chewed vigorously. Once, the overseer told me my nose needed to be covered.

What a load of garbage. Is this the future of human behavior?

Later on I took a walk down the length of the very new small hospital on Route 50 in Northern Virginia.... and there was a cafeteria of sorts. I should have eaten there. Employees were enjoying their lunch with their masks pulled down to their chin.

We are living in psychotic times

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Soteria's avatar

"Surgeon was ... quite handsome". Good. At least we can enjoy small mercies during the current insanity. I hope your Dad makes a good recovery BTW.

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Frontera Lupita's avatar

We need all the ‘good’ visual stimulation we can get!

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Gigolo Joe's avatar

It's those "enforcers" who made all this possible. It reminds me of middle school, when only certain kids would volunteer for "hall monitor" duty. I would never have predicted there were so many ready to volunteer for this.

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Robert's avatar

Remember the Brownshirts. The bimbocracy is feeling very empowered.

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PamelaDrew's avatar

There's a glaring omission in your explanation “because, science!” Last week on Sunday Morning Fauci made it clear he IS science and any criticism of him is anti-science so this needs source attribution or even substitution. Perhaps Websters can change their science definition too.

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Peter W's avatar

They just changed the definition of "vaccine" to suit the narrative and mRna non-vaccines.

Another institution undermined and bought off.

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Lucy's avatar

Also, anti vaxxer as someone vax against mandates! I deleted my websters app. No need for their “ word of the day”

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Rosemary B's avatar

disgusting!!

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CMCM's avatar

Fauci should have said "I am an aberration of science".

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PamelaDrew's avatar

Seems a bit too honest given his track record & ego but it fits! :~)

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Frontera Lupita's avatar

😉😜😀

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Peter W's avatar

One more lesson kids and kitties: In 1854 Dr John Snow discovered that people were catching cholera in Soho from an infected well which he shut down.

At the time health "experts" (I hear groans) were convinced it was the gaseous miasma from the open sewers. Work had begun on covering these drains but it was ten years after his discovery before they realised that Dr Snow was correct and it wasn't "miasma" . But then Fauci, Mr Science, wasn't yet born so there was no Science, just "experts".

Despite evidence, Dr Snow was ignored and ridiculed, as most conspiracy theorists should be (until they're right!).

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CPK (Charles Kalina)'s avatar

TBF: miasma theory was a decent first-order approximation. Stuff that smells bad is usually bad for you. So avoiding or getting rid of stuff that smelled bad (like open sewers) helped reduce disease, even if people at the time misunderstood why it worked.

Problem was that it led to ignoring things that caused disease without smelling bad.

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INGRID C DURDEN's avatar

Except for smelly cheese

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INGRID C DURDEN's avatar

Indeed ! I just read that story days ago LOL. And earlier on, surgeons went from dissecting corpses to delivering babies and wondered how come so many women died. If they had let the midwives do their jobs, this would not have happened. But oh the experts and the science!

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Silverbullitt's avatar

Every other seat at the gate of my flight last week from Philly to Dallas was a no fly zone. Five minutes later we were shoulder to shoulder on a four hour flight.

BECAUSE, SCIENCE!

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G-Unit's avatar

Check your covid at the door, please!

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Snowdog's avatar

<raises hand>. “Professor Gato, do we have to know this for the quiz?”

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Peter W's avatar

You don't need to know anything. Just do as you are told!

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Rosemary B's avatar

or rather, look at what you are being told and THINK for yourself.

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chubox's avatar

The two swim suits meme will be making its rounds in my social orbit post haste

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Snowdog's avatar

I’m actually afraid to post memes after getting hit with a lawfare threat for using a highly modified parody of a Getty images photo of Obama. Got out of it claiming fait use, but they were pretty damned aggressive.

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anonymous joan's avatar

Oh, my, you forgot that the study and practice of law isn't as nuanced and polite as the study and practice of science, where experts posit and implement gracious and helpful new protocols, i.e., sending people to quarantine camps for their own good. ::sarc::

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Rosemary B's avatar

oh my gosh, I am then surprised I am not in prison

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Snowdog's avatar

*fair use

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INGRID C DURDEN's avatar

Still laughing

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TAM's avatar

You are also in more danger of catching Covid on a Boeing 737-900 than on a 50-seat Canadair Regional Jet. On the Boeing, which has 3 seats across, one aisle, and another 3 seats across, you cannot sit in the middle seat. Too dangerous. But on the CRJ, which is 2-aisle-2, ALL seats are full up. At least it was last July when this cat flew.

Also at the plastics factory where I now work they have decided that it is too dangerous to hold our Christmas dinner. Never mind that everyone has worked together all shift, once the shift is over it is too dangerous for the same people to walk down the corridor to where the dinner used to be held.

But you know, science.

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MLL's avatar

That pathetic phrase was used by many parents of strong teenage boys - my son's age - while posting pics of them being injected with the myo/peri shots back in the summer. So shameful to force their athletic teens to take them without an ounce of evidence of long-term harm. That was the day when I started unfriending people on FB in order to save my sanity. It's infuriating and heartbreaking.

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Sophia's avatar

Teacher, teacher, why must students wear masks when seated then? Is it because food absorbs coronavirus because, science?

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WriterMomof4's avatar

School kitchen only applies to immediately-adjacent cafeteria. “because, science.” Kitchens in other parts of any school (e.g. for home ec) are not “real kitchen” thus do not apply.

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Sophia's avatar

Ooooooh, this is really advanced stuff. I might need to make flashcards.

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Satan's Doorknob's avatar

For the same reasons that mask and distancing mandates (and in some places, laws) did not apply to the Antifa and BLM demonstrators and rioters last year, because for some magical inexplicable reason, these large crowds were somehow immune simply because their radical politics largely coincided with those of the local governments.

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ForkInSocket's avatar

Maybe if they pack a lunch?

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JR Ewing's avatar

I never did the "wear a mask when not at your table" thing because it's dumb. Never got any problems from people, except maybe my wife once or twice, but eventually everywhere here (in Texas) just quit making customers do it and only made the staff stand around like drone servants.

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shasta (non-English speaker)'s avatar

Too many questions.

I thought it was fine to pee in the swimming pool as long as you are vaccinated.

Do i need two suits now?

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SCA's avatar

Ah, the memories. Lo these many decades ago I was in the first nonsmoking row--right behind, ergo, the last smoking row. So I was of course breathing in the smoke from the smoker in front of me, and when I complained to the stewardess (we called 'em that back in prehistory), she kindly pointed out that that was the smoking section, and I was, as requested, in the nonsmoking...

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ForkInSocket's avatar

In these more sciencey times I'm sure we would at least have a small plexiglass barrier

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The Great Santini's avatar

And a sign, because both the smoke and the virus can read. It’s science.😎

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Fre'd Bennett, MAHA's avatar

When non-smoking rooms in hotels first appeared, I was travelling to Denver once and happily reserved a "non-smoking" room. Imagine my disappointment after arriving late at night to an apparent ashtray doubling as a hotel room.

Turning on my heel, I immediately went to the front desk to gripe. BUT the night clerk set me right by informing me that my room was in fact a non-smoking room "when you're in it because you're not smoking."

I think that young man must be a post-COVID restaurant manager, or perhaps a cat professor by now.

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Tardigrade's avatar

We live in a kabuki theater.

As long as it *looks* like we're doing something about what we've been told is worse than the black death, we feel OK about it.

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Cathleen Manny's avatar

I was like that for the first several months. No more. Now I calmly, politely, and firmly refuse to participate. I’m no longer willing to play the hoodwinked fool.

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Yancey Ward's avatar

The restaurant issue is a difficult one for our elites to solve- too many of the population still need to use their mouths to eat, and a billion dollars worth of research still hasn't found a mask that allows that without having to be removed. However, once you get your abdominal feeding port to the stomach, you will learn to love your pureed soy steak and and faux potato.

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WriterMomof4's avatar

Fauxtato.

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IvyRose's avatar

Fauxitato

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Ki's avatar

Tough, tough stuff this Science. I hope the next Gato installment includes information on how this tricky minx of a virus knew to avoid liquor stores but got absolutely vicious at AA meetings.

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SCA's avatar

Triple points for "minx."

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shasta (non-English speaker)'s avatar

Yes, question here. A bit unrelated. Does the same principle “mine only works if you use yours” of masks and vaccines also apply to food?

I mean, who can I blame that I am getting fatter?

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Erin's avatar

A friend recently went to speak to the administration at her child’s private school. She said she was deeply troubled by not being allowed in her own child’s school building because she was vaccine free. She can’t see her child’s classroom, use the bathroom, or even chaperone an outdoor field trip. The administrator told her not to worry, the school was working very hard to get everyone on campus regardless of vaccination status for the school’s annual spring fundraiser. Yep.

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Corkey's avatar

Let’s talk about crowded airports and planes next….😂😂😂

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¡Andrew the Great!'s avatar

Yeah, I love Southwest's rule that instead of speaking to the FA to tell them what you want to drink, you show 1 finger for a Coke, 2 fingers for a Sprite, etc.

I show them 1 finger from each of my hands.

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Tahomarr's avatar

I just busted out laughing maskless in the coffee shop. The masked young lady next to me got up and left

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shasta (non-English speaker)'s avatar

We need to create a book with stupid things around covid immediately

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¡Andrew the Great!'s avatar

A la Jeff Foxworthy, "You might be a Covidiot IF..."

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shasta (non-English speaker)'s avatar

We need videos. There are so meny drinks, of course more than ten. So you need something like combination of fingers. Thumb+middle finger=Red Bull for example.

And then, combinations, whisky+coke…

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¡Andrew the Great!'s avatar

I'll wear my chesty GoPro when I fly a week from Wednesday!

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shasta (non-English speaker)'s avatar

Maybe you could take a picture of the instructions. It could become the front cover of our book!

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Corkey's avatar

I think they should do finger signs like pitchers and catchers in a baseball game to ensure nobody steals them. 😂😂

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CeliaSue's avatar

I worked as a waitress years ago, so yeah restaurant food, because science, right

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Howling for Harmony's avatar

My local news this am reported that the supply chain problems/ inflation, etc. are all due to the unvaccinated & those who haven't yet been boosted!!!! So if you want the economy to be robust once again, "get the vax/ boosted". This news is from an interview with a "professor" from a small private college who also happens to be a venture capitalist (the only qualifications stated for being a professor, btw).......Wonder what he has $$$ invested in - oh, yes, he's happy Moderna has the solution to it all. Poor kids who pay a fortune to go there for that "knowledge".

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Satan's Doorknob's avatar

Apparently it's all those unvaxxed tourists or illegals that are causing the Covid outbreaks in highly vaxxed areas like Gibraltar?

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Ms. P's avatar

I worked in restaurants back in my university days. I can certainly attest to that meme! I always tell my hubby when we are out, never order the special. They are trying to get rid of whatever it is. Of course, in Communist Canada, we are not allowed in restaurants anymore. We did a little overnighter Friday, so we could shop at Costco. The hotel, a lower end of our fav chain, was very clear the if we wanted to use the pool or "dining" area for the buffet breakfast, we'd have to show proof of injections, and they'd give us this little plastic unit to stand on our table and put on our towels. We assured the young woman, we'd not be using either. I then witnessed the next morning, a woman being screamed at from down the hallway by the staff, as she was self-serving at the buffet. That was always the way the buffet worked (even this September), but apparently Omicron means the staff have to serve her. AND, the server had stepped away. If I'd have been that woman, I'd have been mortified. Then angry. Not to mention, she was a racial minority, so not a good look for this chain. Good grief. What a wonderful world.

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CbHaight's avatar

Too funny and yes I remember the nonsmoking sections in restaurants…😂

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Tahomarr's avatar

Still laughing at the fauci swimsuit meme. Awesome post!

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MarianneK's avatar

Ahhh, what a bright spot in my day! I love me a funny Bad Cat!

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Peter W's avatar

Wow, yes I must double swimsuit - though our disorganised Council (Ceredigion) have still not opened the local pool. Do you think it best I double mask when swimming, because science, sorry Fauci? He says he is Science. I say I'm Jesus but most tell me I'm talking bollx so I feel an affinity with Fauci.

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Michelle Leduc Catlin's avatar

Thanks for the morning laugh! 😸

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¡Andrew the Great!'s avatar

This appears to be the same science (sic) that led car manufacturers to give the driver and the passenger separate climate control systems.

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Datagal's avatar

Professor Gato, in your next class, can you cover The Science that supports infectivity across city lines? For example, Palm Springs CA is all masked up while next door Rancho Mirage and Palm Desert do not require masks. Does the air or the virus differ across city boundaries?

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Satan's Doorknob's avatar

This problem affects nations, too. During its 70-some years of existence, one of the jokes about the Soviet Union was that they always had "bad weather" to blame for poor crop yields. Some smart ass (in a free nation, most likely) wryly observed that the bad weather must stop at international borders, since in many cases a non-Iron Curtain nation on the other side of the border had perfectly good crops. With maps that show crime or poverty, or in some cases, literal aerial photo maps, one can often see the safe effect: dramatically different indices of a good or bad statistic, vividly different up to and along a legal border. Probably due to the "magic dirt" theory. I guess "magic air" applies to the different virus outcomes?

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M. Dowrick's avatar

Never wear a mask because they don’t work. The more that refuse this silly mandate, the sooner, they will be gone for good. We are @ll ex3mot.

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INGRID C DURDEN's avatar

Great lesson that ! Specially how polite the virus is. We probably can just ASK it to go away and it will. Taking along all its adorers, even !

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Rob D's avatar

Hilarious. And one of my favorites were the curfews! Oooooo! Scary, scary SCARY virus comes out at night! Especially after 10pm. The worst part... PEOPLE COMPLIED.

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Al Guerra's avatar

oh, the science of it all

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Gabriela's avatar

Professor Gato, thank you! You have explained everything so clearly, I finally understand! It's science! Silly me for not getting that earlier! 😂😂

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Gary Smeltzer's avatar

Little plexiglass walls between students on round tables shared by 4 students in my kids fourth grade class. Anybody ever seen leaves in the wind pile up next to walls because of eddies of air? The leaves come from all over and get trapped there. I suspect the virus does the same thing, concentrating near walls instead of dissipating into the rooms large volume of air.

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Heather's avatar

Totally changing the ability of air to circulate and probably making certain areas of the room much worse - law of unintended consequences is always at play

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timmy100's avatar

Virus is also very unsophisticated, only spends time in cheap bars among cheap beer drinkers.

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SpankinRedAss's avatar

Restaurant science... Kinda reminds me of bistromathics 🤣

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skimmer's avatar

Hilarious . All true bc…. Science. Don’t forget the plexiglass

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streamfortyseven's avatar

"The psychological process of menticide so degrades the mental faculties that rational thinking is no longer possible, making you profoundly gullible. In this state, you’ll buy into any narrative without critical thinking." https://principia-scientific.com/the-phenomenon-of-mass-formation/

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Guynoir's avatar

Shhhh!

TeH sCiEnCe is speaking!

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The Great Santini's avatar

Professor Gato, I really like the swimsuit analogy. I’m going to use it in the future. Thanks, so much.

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Ed's avatar

i am transferring to usf.....

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CeliaSue's avatar

hilarious, thank you

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Winston Smith's avatar

Love it. "Because science" logic makes all our physics and biology textbooks completely redundant!

Here's another one from our local school... Teachers, staff and contractors who come onto the school grounds have to be double jabbed (it would be too dangerous otherwise), however parents, anyone really, can come onto the grounds to watch a sports event, crowd together in the hall to watch a play, etc., that's OK. BUT as soon as you come onto the property and you are going to get paid - watch out! The virus knows you are getting paid, you are unvaxxed, and you are obviously a mortal danger to the school population.

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Diana's avatar

Yeah, these rules are the equivalent of the parental "Because I said so!"

Follow my authority because you have to prove your ability to follow my authority, not because there is a rational answer to your "Why"? Lather, rinse, and repeat until I teach you to stop asking why.

Bad parenting, bad governance.

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Anastasia's avatar

I laughed out loud! Thanks!

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Guynoir's avatar

Tangential, but we need to replace school desks with restaurant tables, which repel the coof

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Darling Sneauxflayke's avatar

I have a question. Is it too late to get a refund on this class for the semester?

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The Ungovernable's avatar

How come my condo building used to have occupancy limits on the elevator but have since dropped them in lieu of masking?

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Peter W's avatar

Because masks really work, they will keep you safe ...because science dummy!

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Peter W's avatar

I should've added that!

I guess there might be some who think I'm serious!

Had a "conversation" about the uselessness of masks yesterday. He is supposedly a university professor and couldn't believe I was unimpressed with his condescending attempt to use this "authority" . He actually believed the 53% effectiveness sold by the Guardian and Times and even claimed a study that made them 85% effective at reducing transmission. Didn't like me telling him, the expert professor, that he was talking BS!

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SimulationCommander's avatar

If masks work, why don't they work?

30 seconds of watching the public with their masks shows exactly why they don't work -- everybody is constantly fucking with them. "Smart" people should see this clearly the very first time they venture out.

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Peter W's avatar

Even smarter ones will realise the difference in size of mask mesh and an RNA virus. As effective as throwing sand at a chain link fence and expecting the sand to stop. In fact the relative difference in size is greater than that.

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Fre'd Bennett, MAHA's avatar

I've decided to put up a chicken-wire fence in back of our house: the mosquitoes were unbearable last Spring.

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Mark's avatar

How long should I focus on the pink sphincter in gray scale, P. Gato?

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