282 Comments

"Never get out of the car!"

Apocalypse Meow....

Expand full comment

Omg! I feel so bad for laughing

Expand full comment

Especially if you're on a safari ride.

Expand full comment
founding

I'd just bring my mother-in-law on the safari. Then the tiger has no one to blame but himself for getting into that mess.

Expand full comment

The Fettermans on safari! Poor Mrs Fetterman.

Expand full comment
founding

Yeah it's more likely he ate her vs. a hungry tiger.

Expand full comment

You're right, the tiger got a taste and spit her out !

Expand full comment
founding

OMG. You're on fire.

Expand full comment

Perhaps we could both treat our mothers-in-law to a safari. On the other hand, what do we have against tigers? Nice kitties, at a distance.

Expand full comment
founding

you're good Andy!

Expand full comment

Thank you sir.

Expand full comment

har!!

Expand full comment

Mostly peaceful lunch break.

Expand full comment

🙌😆💣💥

Expand full comment

hahahaha

Expand full comment

Just genius

Expand full comment

So....carry out?

Expand full comment
founding

They should've stayed at the last stop so their kids could feed honey to bears a little longer

Expand full comment

Her name was Honey?

Expand full comment

Very clever

Expand full comment

Tip of the stetson. Thank you ma'am.

Expand full comment

So so funny. I guess I have a perverted sense of humor.

Expand full comment

Dark humor can be cathartic. It's not like you sent the lady a box with a broken Catnip essential oil in it...

Expand full comment

Cat-hartic.... standing ovation for that one!

Expand full comment

Someone got my back!! * swoons at Rikard,but in a non-tigris,totally plutonic way *

Expand full comment

Oho, avast, lo and behold an such! Non-tigris, that'd make it a Euphrates-swoon then.

I could make a lewd joke about pluto-nic and the styles of canines, but I'll settle for a plu-tonic drink.

Good humour, such a lynxury!

Expand full comment

I cat-egorically refuse to consider "lynxury" humorous - but it is clever. So points for that one.

Expand full comment

😂😂😂

Expand full comment

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Expand full comment

Omg that made laugh

Expand full comment

bwahahaha

Expand full comment

Humans. They're grrrreat!

Expand full comment

OMG this thread has a bunch of sick fawkers in it and you are one.

LOL & GROAN at the same time

Expand full comment

(snicker)

Expand full comment

what the??

they should have just changed seats inside the car. I mean, we have done that, LOL

snow storms, pouring rain, dinosaur raids.

Expand full comment

Yeah, but big black cat? Who would have thought? I’m guessing story doesn’t have a happy ending much like double shots and triple boosted

Expand full comment

Much like,including bystanders. That tiger certainly was at the right place at the right time ,though... yikes.

Expand full comment

well, yes, that... but where was this?

I mean we do not have huge beasts like that in my neighborhood.

I am in No Virginia Hubbs and I live in kind of a big park with trails in the woods.

i used to walk on those trails daily (not any more, too busy with daddy) and one time I just strolled right through and saw a grey dog just wandering the trail. My brain did not register.... I actually kind of said "Hi" to the dog and was going to reach out and pet it, but I was about 5 feet away, I stopped saw no collar and then realized it was a 🐺 wolf. 🙄😁

Expand full comment

Wow! Well, genetics say that wolves are descended from dogs. Make of that what you will.

Expand full comment

Actually, I think they both rise from a common ancestor that was more like a wolf.

Expand full comment

That's certainly what we would expect. But I was thinking of a study done about ten or fifteen years ago that showed four distinct lineages of canids, one of which went to wolves, and the other three of which went to dogs. Each of those lineages, at least of the three dog groups, converged about 12,000 years ago, and all four converged on a common ancestor about 50,000 years ago. On that evidence, it would certainly look more like wolves are descended from dogs, than dogs from wolves.

The stereotype of the domestication event is that some caveman killed the mother wolf, and let his kids raise the puppies. But if the study is correct, then domestication of the dog might be a little more complex than that. The common ancestor was more likely some kind of wolf-dog-jackal creature, neither dog nor wolf as we think of them today, that hung around, and followed, top-level predators like the big cats, to get a share of their kills when they were done. When modern humans spread out over the world about 50,000 years ago as serious big-game hunters in their own right, at the expense of the big cats, the wolf-dogs started following the human bands instead. They were wild and independent, and hung around the fringes of camp like a plague of giant rats, who could snap up food in a heartbeat, or a weak, lone human as well.

12,000 years ago would be the point at which humans learned to store meat beyond consumption in the next few days. From that point, dogs lived with humans only by tolerance as the humans chose to share their food or not. Three lines became domesticated. A fourth broke off to become a top-level predator in its own right.

My thinking anyway. But yes, it will have been a common ancestor, and it will have looked more like a wolf.

Expand full comment

the wolf seemed very different. Did not acknowledge my presence and did not make eye contact. That was the big tell. I mean, I could have gone over and knelt down and said, "hey doggie, where are you from? Where is your collar? Are you lost? Where are your servants?" whilst scratching it's neck and patting head.

That might have been awkward. .....or he would have just run off instantly

Expand full comment

Neat. It's lucky to have an experience like that. Such a tell on comparative canine psychology.

Expand full comment
Jan 26, 2023·edited Jan 26, 2023

Was it a puppy? I mean, my experience is that they are huge. One knocked me down once just putting its

paws on my shoulders

Expand full comment

So beautiful

Expand full comment

I want to go with you to a dinosaur raid...from a distance, please.

Expand full comment

Me too! A goodly distance.

Expand full comment

What do we bring for a Dino raid viewing? Popcorn and binoculars? A shark cage?

Expand full comment

I doubt dinos are all that fond of popcorn. And really good set binoculars allows one to maintain an appropriate viewing distance, so that's a good idea. As far as shark cages go, its really hard to keep the water in, so I'd just leave my shark at home.

Expand full comment

Ok.... them not being fond if popcorn was in my thoughts ,as I discarded ' chicken wings' or ' jerky'

And I'm thinking a brontosaurus is just too suave to do the hip kids thing of a raid. Ok! We'll go without the shark,but with pictures of Jacinda Ardern as close up deterrent...advise?

Expand full comment

There's that distance thing. While I agree that a photo of Ms. Ardern would undoubtedly be an effective deterrent, any pic large enough to be clearly observed by the notoriously near-sighted bronto would somewhat traumatizing in and of itself.

Expand full comment

we could carry the shark on a huge glass cage on top of the concrete massively huge vehicle I will be driving

Expand full comment

Well...upon reflection o believe the shark may cause issues of envy: they are dinos thst survived relatively unchanged...while...you know...

Expand full comment

50 cal sniper rifle with scope and *plenty* of ammo. Or even better, M2 Heavy Barrel Machine Gun with **plenty** of ammo.

Expand full comment

Do it Conan-style: jump atop its head and drive your broadsword through its skull!

Expand full comment

The martial arts Barbarian in me approves this message,with this addendum: we don't kill the bronto. No,we save that for raptors etc. We swing up and harness that giant head,slide Don the neck ( like the Flintstones of old!) And then offer it prime vegetables to " do that again!"

Expand full comment

that could get messy though. like a water fall of blood. I would be a klutz bucket and slip and fall and sail down the slippery back

Expand full comment

yes, bring a couple. I do not have one of those and would be thrilled to give yours a try if you don't mind

Expand full comment

Ya beat me to it. I said 50 cal Gatling Gun and lots of ammo. You are obviously a much better shot than I am.

Expand full comment

A 50 cal Gatling Gun and lots of ammo would be my first choice.

Expand full comment

Not having a Gatlin...I believe I'll save up unpopped corn kernels and somehow improvise a small-bore blow gun.

Don't laugh! My then teen son's friends hid from me during Nerf wars when I used a Nerf blow gun! 😁

Expand full comment

I though we had agreed that popcorn was out. Unless, of course, you can figure out a rapid fire blow gun. That might work.

Expand full comment

cake, coffee, cookies, guns, bino- dinoculars, maybe a cannon

Expand full comment

it would be a blast, but we would have to ..... have a huge massively gigantic strong as concrete vehicle. I will probably have a dream about this tonight. Driving a huge concrete vehicle with dinos running willy nilly

Expand full comment

Glad I could be of service 🤣

Expand full comment

darwin award applicants

Expand full comment

Unnecessary. Someone else fills those out….

Expand full comment

I know, right?

Expand full comment

👺How to avoid a costly divorce 101

Expand full comment

very dark....me likes

Expand full comment

I am equally amused by this post and the fact that part of me is horrified at the other part of me for laughing at it. Gallows humour with an empathetic soul requires some creative compartmentalization.

Expand full comment

If you don't compartmentalize, you go mad.

Expand full comment

Box 1 - I would have absolutely gotten out of the car and bapped the bad kitty to let her go.

Box 2 - I am deeply relieved that the natural world will still not suffer fools, though we often must.

Expand full comment

I see some commenters are upset because the bad cat is being flippant about a rather horrific mauling and death. “The Kitten Corner” is almost always a flippant comment on some horrific current event. Usually it involves the pharmaceutical industry or government, and the readership enjoys the outrage. I appreciated this post because it puts life in perspective. Humanity is so disconnected from the way nature and life actually works that it is amazing that we’ve survived this long.

Expand full comment

I don't care how mad I am, I wouldn't get out of the car. I'd make him get out of the car.

Expand full comment

How tragic. I would hope to be like that mom, but I dunno. I'm kind of a scaredy cat.

Expand full comment

Every dark cloud has either a silver lining or a lesson to be learned.

You decide which, but sweet Jesus, let me just throw this out there.

When you are driving through a wild safari park and you get pissed off because your man ate the last pork bun from the box, now is NOT the time to change drivers and teach him a lesson.

Yah, I'm pretty sure you should just bottle up that rage for, say, the parking lot or the drive home.

Expand full comment

I do feel sorry for her mom who got killed trying to save this moron; at least she behaved like a proper parent. Unfortunately raising an idiot daughter had its cost.

Expand full comment
Jan 23, 2023·edited Jan 23, 2023

Is that one of those drive through safari parks?

usually the worst things are the monkeys breaking wipers and antenna's

Expand full comment

Something happened the day before we went to Kruger national park in South Africa (there was a notice posted). Someone got out to pose for a picture with sleeping lions beside the road. They became lunch.

Expand full comment

People do very foolish things and sometimes pay for it with their lives. Kind of like getting vaxxed without doing some research.

Expand full comment

nice

Expand full comment

Yes. In China. She got out during an argument.

Expand full comment

I think there was a similar tragedy at African Lion Safari in southern Ontario (Rockton).

Here's the link someone posted more recently.

https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/true-stories/shocking-footage-shows-woman-being-attacked-and-dragged-away-by-tiger/news-story/d235e25a42107ea3b6366db581458104

Expand full comment

Today those are the worst things. But back in the 1970s when those became popular in the U.S. they contained lions, tigers, etc. and idiots got out of their cars all the time and got their asses kicked, which is why these parks are rare in the U.S. today.

Expand full comment

I shouldn't have laughed. But I did😬

Expand full comment

Consider using Helen Reddy's "I am woman hear me roar" as the jingle.

Expand full comment

GROAN. OMG, that's 2 of you who've made me groan.

Expand full comment

What were you thinking? Bungle in the jungle?

Expand full comment

The Lion Sleeps Tonight?

Expand full comment

Video quality not great but that looked like a tiger to me. Just throwing that out there.

And, for the record, a tiger is at least twice as scary as a lion.

Expand full comment

I imagine they're both pretty scary if they're eating you.

Expand full comment

Until you realize that lions are *social* and come in *prides*.

Expand full comment

The anti vaxxers told her not to get out of the car but she decided to listen to the “it’s safe and effective” crowd 🤣

Expand full comment

Fauci, "America's leading expert on large predatory cats", told her The Science says get out of the car.

Expand full comment

It’s safe! Cats are mostly peaceful animals regardless of their size 🤣

Expand full comment

Perrfect.👌

Expand full comment