A cute girl I was friends with in high school (but hoped for "more,") had a kind mom that let us come talk in the living room all hours of the weekend nights. She used to counsel us, over and over, in 30+ years, you'll have fewer "true, true friends" than you can count on one hand.
I asked her how to identify them so I'd know. She sai…
A cute girl I was friends with in high school (but hoped for "more,") had a kind mom that let us come talk in the living room all hours of the weekend nights. She used to counsel us, over and over, in 30+ years, you'll have fewer "true, true friends" than you can count on one hand.
I asked her how to identify them so I'd know. She said, "You won't have to. They'll show you. Just pay attention and don't lose sleep over the others."
Yuri's "friends" showed him which group they belong in. Part of life. Accept and adapt, move on.
And sometimes we have people in our lives who fit no label. There can be someone who, regardless of how different we've become from them, or what views they hold that we might find somewhat repugnant, we can't imagine not having them in our lives. They've always been there and there's a hole without them. But with those particular people, they feel the same about us.
Those are the ones to hold onto. But in Yuri's case laid out here before us, I think the people he's holding onto are just long-time acquaintances, and the pain really comes from having to accept how truly shallow they are.
I have a close friend I met at work some 35+ years ago that also taught me that, just because you're related/family, that doesn't mean you have to spend society's stated amount of time with them. I have a relative that's toxic, keeps a running score of all mistakes over our entire lifetimes, forgives nobody and hopes to inflict vengeance ten-fold on everyone who he perceives has harmed him. A while back, I finally saw there was no compassionate/caring value in continuing that relationship. And believe me, my life is far more pleasant and enjoyable without all the personality drama. I love him, but I can't live with him around. He just doesn't value kindness, compassion, and similar civil things. Fine if you want to live that way, but I'm no longer letting anyone drag me into that gutter.
A cute girl I was friends with in high school (but hoped for "more,") had a kind mom that let us come talk in the living room all hours of the weekend nights. She used to counsel us, over and over, in 30+ years, you'll have fewer "true, true friends" than you can count on one hand.
I asked her how to identify them so I'd know. She said, "You won't have to. They'll show you. Just pay attention and don't lose sleep over the others."
Yuri's "friends" showed him which group they belong in. Part of life. Accept and adapt, move on.
This is one of life's brutal lessons.
And sometimes we have people in our lives who fit no label. There can be someone who, regardless of how different we've become from them, or what views they hold that we might find somewhat repugnant, we can't imagine not having them in our lives. They've always been there and there's a hole without them. But with those particular people, they feel the same about us.
Those are the ones to hold onto. But in Yuri's case laid out here before us, I think the people he's holding onto are just long-time acquaintances, and the pain really comes from having to accept how truly shallow they are.
That mom was a keeper!
I have a close friend I met at work some 35+ years ago that also taught me that, just because you're related/family, that doesn't mean you have to spend society's stated amount of time with them. I have a relative that's toxic, keeps a running score of all mistakes over our entire lifetimes, forgives nobody and hopes to inflict vengeance ten-fold on everyone who he perceives has harmed him. A while back, I finally saw there was no compassionate/caring value in continuing that relationship. And believe me, my life is far more pleasant and enjoyable without all the personality drama. I love him, but I can't live with him around. He just doesn't value kindness, compassion, and similar civil things. Fine if you want to live that way, but I'm no longer letting anyone drag me into that gutter.