At present, I have been told "our relationship is over"
So, I have not seen them in two weeks, right after this snarky email, he came out with a lot of scolding statements and accusing me of saying things I personally do not recall. That next day, I got up had major abdominal surgery.
So I went in feeling quite crushed. My daughter has not said anything.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this! My younger brother (I’m 1 of 7) completely severed ties with my mom. It has broken her heart because they were quite close but she now won’t be able to see him or her 2 granddaughters. He believes he is smarter than us all! I’m a nurse of 33 years, and I’ve worked in clinical research including a Pfizer study, but he’s smarter than me too! He has no medical background. I have 2 other siblings who are vaxxed but not insane or willing to cut ties. One did it at the beginning because his wife was undergoing cancer treatment and he thought it was the right thing to do. He said he would never give it to his daughter though. The other is a diabetic and believes in it. The rest of us, including my mom, said no thank you! I hope you have other family/friends who support you. God bless on your recovery!
this rings clearly to me. I am a nurse as well. Even struggled through to get my BSN. I am long time retired but what we learned we do not forget, the common sense parts of all of that science, piles and piles of science
Thank you so much for the recovery wishes. I greatly appreciate them
My sister also RN BSN but totally different than me, the kind of nurse that puts butter on burns.... anyway, she worked for NIH and she is fully jabbed. She has horrible sebhorrea (sp) all over her body, joint pain etc
I'm so sorry, that's really awful. And it seems he is so dug in that it will be hard for him to extricate himself from his dogma, and painful if/when he finally does. Just such a sad situation for all of you involved.
I'm sorry you're going through this. Right now, your son in law is brainwashed. There is nothing you can do about that. NOTHING. Maybe he'll change his thinking at some point. Maybe not. In the meantime, you don't need to be exposed to a destructive person.
You've done the right thing. I don't know if you'll be able to continue to have a relationship with your daughter, but right now, this is the right thing to do for your own peace of mind.
One can read your post and imagine the very same thing is being said on the other side of the fence, with all sincerity. We, that is injected and un-injected, are living in two very different worlds.
Right on, Shibumi! It's so true. Sad as our situations may be, my partner and I have both come to a place of peace once we removed ourselves from our toxic situations.
Please, may I slap his face? Tweak his nose? What an unkind person. This issue has cost us a lot of friends, and some who stay in touch (with gritted teeth, it would seem) like to scold us all the time. I must say, I'm a bit tired of that, and have grown a bit testy.
Not all stay in touch with gritted teeth. My husband's family is almost all vaxxed/boosted and we simply don't discuss it. They respect our decision, and sadly, we respect their decision. We tried to talk to them; their doctor overruled us. That being said, it's one of those hot topics you do not discuss in polite society.
I'm old enough to remember "don't talk about politics or religion" being enough. Let the party start after that. Praying for those kinder days to return.
You are so right, and it's why I am forever dodging invitations to social events. Right now I'm laughing, remembering a line from "My Fair Lady". I was in a production where I played Henry Higgin's mother, and she had some great parting shots. The one that comes to mind is, "If I were you, Henry, I should stick to two subjects - the weather, and everyone's health!". Now how would that go over today? I hear GBS giving a diabolical laugh.
I think that makes all the difference. I cannot imagine being in a couple where you hold different positions on this, it would be unbearable. And yet I know situations and couples where this is so.
I don't know what to say, really. My deepest sympathies, and you son-in-law sounds very immature and insecure if you pardon me for saying so. My mother-in-law and me are of very different political opinions about most things (she had quite a severe case of TDS in 2016/2017 despite us being swedes, while I just quipped 'Well, in a democracy anyone is supposed to be able to be eleceted by the will of the people') but that has never stopped us from civil discourse or associating as family.
I hope he grows up and comes around to apologising which he should hat in hand, because regardless of opinion that kind of behaviour of his is one you're supposed to have outgrown before puberty, really.
Sobbing and such. Kind of what I experienced when my big sister died, and just last year actually. My brother and sister in law (New Hampshire mean liberals) Oh my gosh, that would be chapter three in my novel, being called a liar, an F-ing B, more accusations. I seriously thought about wanting to just die!! horrible. I do not think my son in law will ever ever apologise.
Rosemary dear, my heart truly goes out to you. I know how this hurts. At present I am not on speaking terms with anyone in my family - all three sisters, and some nephews and a niece who won't go against their mother. This is about politics as well as covid, they are all extreme far-left liberals with unbelievable TDS, they are okay with hormone blockers in kids, etc. I got tired of all the hate and craziness, the gaslighting...so I'm taking a break. It was my choice, so it's not as painful a situation as yours. I think of them every day, and say prayers that no one dies from the jabs they were badgering me to take. I pray that one day we will find reconciliation, but I wonder if it will be possible. My partner had the same thing happen recently with his crazy Karen sister, she yelled and screamed and called him names because of his politics, etc. (she "adores Fauci!"; this is a clue). I think this is happening everywhere, between friends and family members. All I can suggest is, do all you can to stay in touch with your daughter, even if she does not reply, maybe send her ecards here and there and tell her you love her and are thinking of her, just that. Don't mention her husband or the breakup, no beseeching or guilt-tripping (I've been down this road, you see), just let her know you are holding her in your heart. She'll figure it out. Take care of yourself, and remember that love will always prevail. Bless you.
It has been sooo long since this conversation occurred on Gato's blog.
And here we are almost the end of August.
I could write a novel, but it would not be excellent
So much has occurred these past 4 months. I feel like a different person.
I am so grateful for my husband, and the distraction of caring for my 98 year old father at his very fancy rich people retirement community (Ashby Ponds, Virginia, google it. Amazing, but $$$$$$$) Anyway
Yes I have endured this drama, but other as well. My younger brother is very arrogant, gosh I do not know how much I have shared here. My life these past few years has been like a stupid annoying drama. My hubbs is so stable and calm, he always pulls me back in. I am not weak, but I have a tender heart.
Anyway, My daughter sent us a card and blah blah blah... and "when we feel the time is right, we will connect with you" - yes, sadly, I found that insulting.
When their time is right?
Well, I miss my daughter. I texted her last week and told her I missed her. We used to be very verrrry close. She said she missed me and that was about it. I realized her husband, that I used to really like, actually I loved him. He seemed kind and fun. Now I see a part of him that is in his person. He is controlling. I also see that this is something in his family.
I could really write a book. It would be a boring but my gosh, I have connected so much.
We are still not communicating. I think her husband is in control. Now he works from home too, so there is no way for me to come and visit for a few hours sneaky like. Well, the babies would spill it.
I will end here, but just so you know, I greatly appreciate all of everyones encouraging and most kind words.
All of you that are struggling, I know how you feel, I know where you are standing. Focus on all of the goodness that you have. Keep your heads straight and calm.
I know we are not alone in this. That should be a comfort to us, Right
Love to you, too, I am so grateful for you and everyone on here, we are helping one another get through this shipwreck. I really don't know how I would survive without these lifelines of sanity. And we will get through this, I am sure of it, with the grace of God and with truth on our side.
I feel different now. Is that weird? I feel like a differnt person. I feel like this entire ordeal has been abusive.
My son in law told me years ago that his parents cut ties with his father's parents in Wisconsin. They did not communicate for 17 years.
That seemed entirely weird.
You know, this is all new to me, and to my husband. We came from families of normal people. At least I thought. Everyone has weirdos in the family. I thought long and hard about my older sister (now deceased) and the mentally abusive man she married. He was a jerk. She died from smoking, had a aneurysm in 2000 and died.
So, with that thinking about controlling people. ..... think about that for a moment. Controlling people.
I have not brought this up, obviously, with my daughter. I do not know what she is thinking. I know she needs to hold this together for her three babies all under age 5.
This is a saga that I believe many many kind and lovely people are experiencing these past few years.
I also believe that this has been generated by the environment we are living in. the circumstances of division and derision encouraged by... well, politics and those associated with creating this horrible state of human exchange or any sort of understanding for others. Where has that gone?
Even my 98 year old father has been brainwashed by the Washington Compost and online news he reads. It is sad. I do not engage in any possibly contentious discussions with him. At all. We talk about happy things. I steer the conversation if he brings something up.
Tell him to start reading the actual studies…
Or ask him if his statement is peer reviewed, see if he gets what the problem with that is.
At present, I have been told "our relationship is over"
So, I have not seen them in two weeks, right after this snarky email, he came out with a lot of scolding statements and accusing me of saying things I personally do not recall. That next day, I got up had major abdominal surgery.
So I went in feeling quite crushed. My daughter has not said anything.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this! My younger brother (I’m 1 of 7) completely severed ties with my mom. It has broken her heart because they were quite close but she now won’t be able to see him or her 2 granddaughters. He believes he is smarter than us all! I’m a nurse of 33 years, and I’ve worked in clinical research including a Pfizer study, but he’s smarter than me too! He has no medical background. I have 2 other siblings who are vaxxed but not insane or willing to cut ties. One did it at the beginning because his wife was undergoing cancer treatment and he thought it was the right thing to do. He said he would never give it to his daughter though. The other is a diabetic and believes in it. The rest of us, including my mom, said no thank you! I hope you have other family/friends who support you. God bless on your recovery!
this rings clearly to me. I am a nurse as well. Even struggled through to get my BSN. I am long time retired but what we learned we do not forget, the common sense parts of all of that science, piles and piles of science
Thank you so much for the recovery wishes. I greatly appreciate them
My sister also RN BSN but totally different than me, the kind of nurse that puts butter on burns.... anyway, she worked for NIH and she is fully jabbed. She has horrible sebhorrea (sp) all over her body, joint pain etc
Well yes then you get it! Critical thinking snd sound clinical judgment are the light that guide us! I do seriously wish you peace with your family.
I'm so sorry, that's really awful. And it seems he is so dug in that it will be hard for him to extricate himself from his dogma, and painful if/when he finally does. Just such a sad situation for all of you involved.
thank you so much for your sympathies. I greatly appreciate it.
This has been a sad rough two weeks.
However, as dysfunctional as it looks or seems, I also have a feeling of calm and refocusing. Hubbs and I have each other
I'm sorry you're going through this. Right now, your son in law is brainwashed. There is nothing you can do about that. NOTHING. Maybe he'll change his thinking at some point. Maybe not. In the meantime, you don't need to be exposed to a destructive person.
You've done the right thing. I don't know if you'll be able to continue to have a relationship with your daughter, but right now, this is the right thing to do for your own peace of mind.
One can read your post and imagine the very same thing is being said on the other side of the fence, with all sincerity. We, that is injected and un-injected, are living in two very different worlds.
Right on, Shibumi! It's so true. Sad as our situations may be, my partner and I have both come to a place of peace once we removed ourselves from our toxic situations.
thank you for your encouragement. You are right.
Please, may I slap his face? Tweak his nose? What an unkind person. This issue has cost us a lot of friends, and some who stay in touch (with gritted teeth, it would seem) like to scold us all the time. I must say, I'm a bit tired of that, and have grown a bit testy.
Not all stay in touch with gritted teeth. My husband's family is almost all vaxxed/boosted and we simply don't discuss it. They respect our decision, and sadly, we respect their decision. We tried to talk to them; their doctor overruled us. That being said, it's one of those hot topics you do not discuss in polite society.
so many hot topics now. This leaves little "small talk" left.
I'm old enough to remember "don't talk about politics or religion" being enough. Let the party start after that. Praying for those kinder days to return.
You are so right, and it's why I am forever dodging invitations to social events. Right now I'm laughing, remembering a line from "My Fair Lady". I was in a production where I played Henry Higgin's mother, and she had some great parting shots. The one that comes to mind is, "If I were you, Henry, I should stick to two subjects - the weather, and everyone's health!". Now how would that go over today? I hear GBS giving a diabolical laugh.
I think that makes all the difference. I cannot imagine being in a couple where you hold different positions on this, it would be unbearable. And yet I know situations and couples where this is so.
Sending you strength. I am so sorry. I know how hard it can be.
I don't know what to say, really. My deepest sympathies, and you son-in-law sounds very immature and insecure if you pardon me for saying so. My mother-in-law and me are of very different political opinions about most things (she had quite a severe case of TDS in 2016/2017 despite us being swedes, while I just quipped 'Well, in a democracy anyone is supposed to be able to be eleceted by the will of the people') but that has never stopped us from civil discourse or associating as family.
I hope he grows up and comes around to apologising which he should hat in hand, because regardless of opinion that kind of behaviour of his is one you're supposed to have outgrown before puberty, really.
Totally agree with you Rikard, I would NEVER dream of speaking to my in-laws with such a tone, and it's a shame to see someone doing so.
It did hurt
I did have something like a breakdown, mentally.
Sobbing and such. Kind of what I experienced when my big sister died, and just last year actually. My brother and sister in law (New Hampshire mean liberals) Oh my gosh, that would be chapter three in my novel, being called a liar, an F-ing B, more accusations. I seriously thought about wanting to just die!! horrible. I do not think my son in law will ever ever apologise.
Rosemary dear, my heart truly goes out to you. I know how this hurts. At present I am not on speaking terms with anyone in my family - all three sisters, and some nephews and a niece who won't go against their mother. This is about politics as well as covid, they are all extreme far-left liberals with unbelievable TDS, they are okay with hormone blockers in kids, etc. I got tired of all the hate and craziness, the gaslighting...so I'm taking a break. It was my choice, so it's not as painful a situation as yours. I think of them every day, and say prayers that no one dies from the jabs they were badgering me to take. I pray that one day we will find reconciliation, but I wonder if it will be possible. My partner had the same thing happen recently with his crazy Karen sister, she yelled and screamed and called him names because of his politics, etc. (she "adores Fauci!"; this is a clue). I think this is happening everywhere, between friends and family members. All I can suggest is, do all you can to stay in touch with your daughter, even if she does not reply, maybe send her ecards here and there and tell her you love her and are thinking of her, just that. Don't mention her husband or the breakup, no beseeching or guilt-tripping (I've been down this road, you see), just let her know you are holding her in your heart. She'll figure it out. Take care of yourself, and remember that love will always prevail. Bless you.
Keahi. you have found a friend in me.
It has been sooo long since this conversation occurred on Gato's blog.
And here we are almost the end of August.
I could write a novel, but it would not be excellent
So much has occurred these past 4 months. I feel like a different person.
I am so grateful for my husband, and the distraction of caring for my 98 year old father at his very fancy rich people retirement community (Ashby Ponds, Virginia, google it. Amazing, but $$$$$$$) Anyway
Yes I have endured this drama, but other as well. My younger brother is very arrogant, gosh I do not know how much I have shared here. My life these past few years has been like a stupid annoying drama. My hubbs is so stable and calm, he always pulls me back in. I am not weak, but I have a tender heart.
Anyway, My daughter sent us a card and blah blah blah... and "when we feel the time is right, we will connect with you" - yes, sadly, I found that insulting.
When their time is right?
Well, I miss my daughter. I texted her last week and told her I missed her. We used to be very verrrry close. She said she missed me and that was about it. I realized her husband, that I used to really like, actually I loved him. He seemed kind and fun. Now I see a part of him that is in his person. He is controlling. I also see that this is something in his family.
I could really write a book. It would be a boring but my gosh, I have connected so much.
We are still not communicating. I think her husband is in control. Now he works from home too, so there is no way for me to come and visit for a few hours sneaky like. Well, the babies would spill it.
I will end here, but just so you know, I greatly appreciate all of everyones encouraging and most kind words.
All of you that are struggling, I know how you feel, I know where you are standing. Focus on all of the goodness that you have. Keep your heads straight and calm.
I know we are not alone in this. That should be a comfort to us, Right
Love always, Rosemary
Love to you, too, I am so grateful for you and everyone on here, we are helping one another get through this shipwreck. I really don't know how I would survive without these lifelines of sanity. And we will get through this, I am sure of it, with the grace of God and with truth on our side.
I'm so sorry about your daughter & her husband. Has anything improved since he sent the email? Hang in there, my friend.
no
not really
I have not seen my grand babies.
I feel different now. Is that weird? I feel like a differnt person. I feel like this entire ordeal has been abusive.
My son in law told me years ago that his parents cut ties with his father's parents in Wisconsin. They did not communicate for 17 years.
That seemed entirely weird.
You know, this is all new to me, and to my husband. We came from families of normal people. At least I thought. Everyone has weirdos in the family. I thought long and hard about my older sister (now deceased) and the mentally abusive man she married. He was a jerk. She died from smoking, had a aneurysm in 2000 and died.
So, with that thinking about controlling people. ..... think about that for a moment. Controlling people.
I have not brought this up, obviously, with my daughter. I do not know what she is thinking. I know she needs to hold this together for her three babies all under age 5.
This is a saga that I believe many many kind and lovely people are experiencing these past few years.
I also believe that this has been generated by the environment we are living in. the circumstances of division and derision encouraged by... well, politics and those associated with creating this horrible state of human exchange or any sort of understanding for others. Where has that gone?
Even my 98 year old father has been brainwashed by the Washington Compost and online news he reads. It is sad. I do not engage in any possibly contentious discussions with him. At all. We talk about happy things. I steer the conversation if he brings something up.