It's like, despite what we tell ourselves, compassion really is a finite emotional resource, and the people that would actually be on my side when this all comes to blows need it more.
It's like, despite what we tell ourselves, compassion really is a finite emotional resource, and the people that would actually be on my side when this all comes to blows need it more.
I've realized I'm no longer interested in the personality trait 'nice'. Nice does nothing in a crisis, nice still wears a mask to the store, nice still vaccinates themselves and their kids because they are being nice to others. Nice is useless. I'm looking for courage and the last two years showed it's in frighteningly short supply.
Julian Assange reportedly said that it was not long ago that he realised, as he had not before, that there is far more of what we call 'intelligence' to be found among humans than there is of what we call 'courage.' Words to ponder, indeed ...
It really hurts that my dearest sister, a lifelong friend, "did not mind one bit throwing [her] niceness overboard against those [me and my partner, the only unvexed in the family]" whom her flock vilified... she "did not even question [her alarming position] when it came to [her] nearest and dearest."
It's hurt me too, with the 'family' that I come from on both sides ALL choosing to get jabbed (bar one aunt!). But the difference is, I didn't have the best household growing up, so my sister is neither my 'dearest' or a lifelong friend. So it's easier for me to not particularly care what happens to them anymore. You, however, retain both the luxury and the misery of being close to your family. I learned early on that the family I came from was mostly there to hurt me. I chose differently when I came to marry because I knew my upbringing wasn't right and I have made a wonderful family.
So my feelings are twofold for you, finnbuck: I sympathise with you yet love that you are being hurt all in one, only because you actually had the love I always wanted as a kid growing up! I'm sorry for your pain and the grieving you have done (and will continue to do). But please remember the strange silver lining is that you would not feel the way you do if you did not know true love. And that is an amazing thing to experience, even though it currently hurts immeasurably.
There has been a natural selection during the past two years with whom we surround ourselves and that is a choice we make. Personally, I am happy with my choices and do not miss the people that are no longer part of my life...
My 96 yo mom is no on the vax. My eldest sister and I were not taking it either. My other two are vax And boosted but I doubt my sister who is a nurse will go for the second boost as she admitted to me that it was not effective.
IтАЩm surprised your fam is still that way since the jabs have now been proven ineffective at stopping infection / spread. And the boosted are the ones getting covid. Maybe they havenтАЩt learned this from their media?
It's like, despite what we tell ourselves, compassion really is a finite emotional resource, and the people that would actually be on my side when this all comes to blows need it more.
I've realized I'm no longer interested in the personality trait 'nice'. Nice does nothing in a crisis, nice still wears a mask to the store, nice still vaccinates themselves and their kids because they are being nice to others. Nice is useless. I'm looking for courage and the last two years showed it's in frighteningly short supply.
Yes, because they're not in fact nice. Their primary concern is showing nice, and this is proved by them getting nasty fast if questioned.
Unqualified тАЬnicenessтАЭ will be the death of this country.
Exactly. Good is what you need to be. Nice is good when its underlying motive is good. Nice paired with evil is evil.
Julian Assange reportedly said that it was not long ago that he realised, as he had not before, that there is far more of what we call 'intelligence' to be found among humans than there is of what we call 'courage.' Words to ponder, indeed ...
Idiocy & cowardice
True in the confrontational, medical sense. But being kind to others unrelated to the dispute is still rewarding and helpful.
What is not rewarding is being nice at my expense. Your freedom ends when it infringes mine. At that point, it's game on.
Ha ha, yes, I have been having WAY too many thoughts that people are "nice, but dumb". You hit the nail on the head, Ki.
What we have needed these past 2 years ARE courageous people, but they have indeed been in short supply.
1000 likes, Ki!
The pack is high on righteous indignation and God help anybody who gets in their way with this critical thinking gobbledegook.
It really hurts that my dearest sister, a lifelong friend, "did not mind one bit throwing [her] niceness overboard against those [me and my partner, the only unvexed in the family]" whom her flock vilified... she "did not even question [her alarming position] when it came to [her] nearest and dearest."
It's hurt me too, with the 'family' that I come from on both sides ALL choosing to get jabbed (bar one aunt!). But the difference is, I didn't have the best household growing up, so my sister is neither my 'dearest' or a lifelong friend. So it's easier for me to not particularly care what happens to them anymore. You, however, retain both the luxury and the misery of being close to your family. I learned early on that the family I came from was mostly there to hurt me. I chose differently when I came to marry because I knew my upbringing wasn't right and I have made a wonderful family.
So my feelings are twofold for you, finnbuck: I sympathise with you yet love that you are being hurt all in one, only because you actually had the love I always wanted as a kid growing up! I'm sorry for your pain and the grieving you have done (and will continue to do). But please remember the strange silver lining is that you would not feel the way you do if you did not know true love. And that is an amazing thing to experience, even though it currently hurts immeasurably.
There has been a natural selection during the past two years with whom we surround ourselves and that is a choice we make. Personally, I am happy with my choices and do not miss the people that are no longer part of my life...
I am glad that you feel that way. Honestly, I do.
I feel shunned. My daughters and their husbands have been drawn in, they listen to every word of ABC news, CNN etc. That is their "Bible"
My 98 year old father and my older sister are obedient.
My younger brother and his wife, well, they "can't stand me" for various and sundry reasons.
So, yeah, just me and hubbs, and oh! both of my daughters in laws are on the same page as we are. So that is a nice thing
My 96 yo mom is no on the vax. My eldest sister and I were not taking it either. My other two are vax And boosted but I doubt my sister who is a nurse will go for the second boost as she admitted to me that it was not effective.
Some of us are left with nobody.
One of the great things about these substacks is to at least be able to discuss this with like minded people.
precisely - comforting. We should all meet up and eat donuts and share stories of family silliness
Well, not NOBODY! The Creator is my ever present help in trouble! Hopeful and Devoted. :)
But perhaps you have heard that saying...Rejection is God's Protection!
Well- wouldn't "nobody" be better than someone who is poisonous or toxic to your health?
no alone.
I do have my hubbs.
Everyone else, I just keep my mouth shut
I did learn the hard way though -- thorough scolding from family members, now I am the undesirable one.
IтАЩm surprised your fam is still that way since the jabs have now been proven ineffective at stopping infection / spread. And the boosted are the ones getting covid. Maybe they havenтАЩt learned this from their media?
they certainly haven't
HopefullyDevoted We are at least here together. Someday Substack communities will find ways to connect beyond the keyboards.
I hope you're correct. There are people on here that I would absolutely love to spend some time with, listening and talking.
Welcome to my life. ЁЯШХ